Asher Daniel Chappell

10.4.T. { Affections }

Affections... that term has been brought up a lot the past few weeks... at small group, at church, in Dan and my conversations... It's an element of my Christian walk that has great highs and lows. I'm really desiring to grow in this area and to be conformed into one who has much more consistency in my passionate pursuit and love for God. 

One question that's been super helpful in examining what is helping and hindering that maturing is what stirs your affections for God and what steals your affections for God.... 

So, I'm going to list 5 things that steal... and 5 things that stir.  

Things that steal....... 

1. Expectations.  I remember early on in life being challenged in this area. From birthdays to day to day life with roommates, from friendship to marriage, from dreaming about what lay ahead in life to the stark reality of the here and now, Expectations have crept into my heart and some have seemed to settle in for the long haul. Expectations are definitely an affection stealer... Big Time. I'm really grateful though that I've been surrounded by parents and wise counselors that have tried to engrain into my head and heart that I can't have expectations. I don't deserve them. That may have gotten under your skin a little just now, but it's true. Christ paid for the only thing I really deserve in life and everything else is icing on the cake (or should I say at least an element of the icing ....it may look/feel more like the beating of butter or whipping of cream... but it's for a sweet end.) 

2. Malls....Fancy Ones  Now, I'm not one for mall shopping or window gazing and thus I normally wouldn't put this as one. But here lately it's not the things in the stores that have grabbed my affections but the people walking besides me in that mall. They have their arms full of bags, often are dressed stylishly, gabbing with a bunch of friends having a blast, treating their kids to fancy clothes from name brand stores, getting makeovers at makeup counters.... you get the picture. It's affection directed at a life that appears better than mine.... appears wealthy, not wanting for anything, living high on the moment.  I know life isn't as it often appears so I leave knowing that I have everything I need for true happiness. But this is a list of things that TRY to steal that knowledge and the affections that are to be directed at God. 

3. Reading Blogs.  It's terrible that this is on my list, but it SO is. To be honest it's one that I'm trying to understand and fight to have it's rightful place in my life. I love reading blogs. I love all sorts of them. And often one blog will lead to another and then another.... there are so many out there with so many great stories to tell, lives to document, photos to post, and inspiration to share.  I love my bloglines and I tell myself that it keeps them from ruling my life and time, and to some extent it does, however, bloglines can't keep them from ruling my heart. I find myself wanting to write like someone else, to live like someone else, to shoot like... to shop like... to decorate like... to craft like... to cook like.... to coupon like... to connect like someone else.  That my friends steals my affections and puts them in a spin like nothing else..... because they are spun in so many directions. I know blogging is a blessing... I mean, look at me, God's used this blog in my life in so many ways, BUT the blog world is also an affection stealer. Now make sure you hear what I'm saying, it's not the blogs that are bad... it's my heart. I've been praying for wisdom in how to guard my heart and how to READ blogs in a way that will best protect me from spinning affections.  

4. Mismanaged money.  Really this doesn't need much explanation. It's just plain and simple, when I'm not wise and thinking momentarily with money then it's not long before the affections are all being wasted on not only the things that I thought would bring me some happiness... wether it's a nice meal out and the joy of not cleaning up afterwards or the steal of a deal at Goodwill or a few extra not planned for things at T.J.Maxx or even a nice gift for someone else... my mismanaged money comes in little things that sneak up on you and you don't notice you're using money you shouldn't until it's too late. All because I don't like to deprive myself of the joy of the little things or be bound to a budget that didn't take into consideration that Target would have this item on clearance.  This affection stealer promises to love you back but instead lets you down faster than any of them....only to be there around the next corner wearing a different outfit at a different restaurant. 

5. Daydreaming. I WISH oh I so wish some of you could see what my brain is like. Sometimes I think to myself that I could really make some company LOTS of money if they would just pay me for my ideas and thoughts and plans and dreams.... I joke that I can plan other people's lives out perfectly and at times in my mind I do.  I have a vivid imagination and my mind is often going a hundred miles a minute. And I've found that especially during times where I'm desiring to slow life down and simplify my daily happenings and focus my thoughts and actions on a few more important things.... it's then when my mind wants to take over the world.....NOT think on the deeper things of God or on ways to serve others in my family or think on the great things God has done in my life thus far. It's like my mind is afraid to be still and to focus on things that really matter.... so you can see how this can and does negatively affect my times with God. I know even my own mind wars against God..... I can't wait until it's redeemed fully. But for now, I still have to fight to renew it moment by moment and day by day.  

WHew! I'm glad I can switch gears to a more glorious list.  These are the things that stir my affections for my amazing Savior.... 

1. Big Things... HUGE things. Things that are MUCH bigger than I am.  Oceans, Whales/Big Sharks (Hopefully I'd be watching these on TV or at an aquarium and not at the previously mentioned ocean) Mountains, Looking out Airplane windows, Glaciers, (okay, pretty much anything in Alaska... because everything there is BIG!)  

2. Wedding Ceremonies. I don't want to admit how many weddings I've photographed and became caught up in the moment and started crying. Not at the sweetness of the couple, mind you, Poiema couples are VERY sweet, but it's usually the vivid reminder of the covenant that the marriage represents between my God and His church (me!) The worship at weddings tends to take on so much of a deeper meaning when sang in that setting. I know many times I've been in the back of a church and sang very loudly whatever hymn or song is being sung and I probably looked a little strange to some being that one hand had a big ol' camera in it and the other was held high in praise!  

3. Ministry Families. I don't know if it's because I grew up in one or because I find such wisdom and perspective when I'm around families who have been in church ministry for a long time. I feel like I can let my hair down when I'm around these families and talk about my real frustrations about cultural christianity or my battle with legalism. The humor found in these houses is so refreshing and I get it. I always leave from their company knowing I was heard and encouraged and my heart is kindled for the Lord's bride, the Church. 

4. Trials. things that are so beyond my control that even if I were tempted to control it, it would be a joke. That helpless feeling... losing Asher, healing after a surgery or injury, the heartache of others, family conflict, a sick child, being sick myself, I could go on and on and I'm sure you could add lots to this list yourself.  All things I don't desire to have in my life but all things that I have little control over if they are to come or not, and once they do... then I have no control in making it go away. I'm left feeling helpless and very dependent. That stirs my affections for the One who is in control of every little detail and who desires us to be needy and dependent people.  

5.  Music. I've always loved music. I can't sing worth a lick but LOVE to hear others sing and love singing myself. I also love classical works and high quality musical talent. It's often moments that I'm listening to a symphony live or a huge crowd sing or the rawness of some worship or the depth of a old hymn, those are moments that my heart is stirred on a level that only music can touch.  

Now, those are my 10!!! What are yours???  Please share by leaving me a comment. 

little one

I haven't even met this baby yet and already he fills my thoughts. But then I can't think about him too much because I'm trying to fit three weeks of work into this one week. And so in a way it's good that I'm occupied... but I'm also a stress ball. I think hours of computer work makes me tense all over so I feel physically stressed even when I don't have a reason to be emotionally stressed but me being a female, it's all tied into one big plate of spaghetti where everything effects everything. So, I thought blogging a little might help me take a load off my tight shoulders since watching TV doesn't seem to cut it right now, (and I'm saving my DVR'd shows for those middle of the night feedings that are coming my way soon)  

To update you on things, The baby is doing well. We found out today that the doctors actually think he was born 6 weeks premature. So he struggled with sucking and feeding. He's been on a feeding tube and in the NICU up till this week. But now he's in the regular newborn nursery and he's weighing in a 6lbs 2oz. So he's still tiny but growing!!  They think he'll get to come home this weekend. So I think we'll be picking him up either Sunday or Monday...maybe sooner. ?? 

I know this is going to be a challenge like no other. He has a daddy that wants to be a daddy to him but hasn't been able to live life free of drug dependance for the past 10 years. His mom, has had two previous children taken from her and now I'm sure is confused about her relationship with this guy, her future, her emotions, her body, her surroundings.. everything. Both are claiming to be placing their trust and faith in Christ and I think that He is the only One who can right these wrongs and bring this family together in whatever way that is to look like.  

Communicating with these two in prison is difficult. Right now, they are only allowed to write letters and send them snail mail. (not one of my strong points) So it's been hard to find the time and the words to say as we write back and forth. 

And Dan and I know that this child is ours to care for and to love but not nessisicarily to call our own. We hope that it may come to that if that is what is best for this boy and his family. So, I am thinking all the time of the fact that I want this boy to know he was loved from day one and welcomed even lovingly anticipated into our home! I want him to have the things that make up a heritage even from the start. But how do I pour into him all the things we've given our daughter so far knowing that he may leave and never remember them and also those things will have knit him deeper into my heart. I don't know how. But I do know I have to pour anyway and treat him as my son but know that he's not mine. 

I've said before that God taught me through Asher that our children aren't our own and that they are God's to be used however He seems loving and fit. But I don't know that it's supposed to be a lesson I learn and there, it's understood and applied to any child in my life, no problem.  I think it's more of a daily thought and prayer that my soul murmers to God as I fall asleep and pray that my child is alive the next morning when I go to pick her up, as I buckle her into the car knowing I can't control other drivers actions, as I bring a newborn into my home who had a rough start and is still learning the basics of being a newborn, as my love for him grows with each feeding and milestone, as the thought of future pregnancies pop into my mind and the fears that come with those thoughts.  

Lately, I've been asking God to give me the faith to believe that He truly won't put on me more than I can bear. Some things I think about I don't know that I could bear and when those fears come I just tell God that if He wants to bring things into my life then He HAS to bring the grace and the trust as well and in abundance!!  

Writing all these things, I hope you understand that it's a way of preaching to myself. It's so easy to write it down... but I can go to bed here in 10 minutes and be plagued with the very fears I mentioned that God has control over.  I hope I am not and I hope I can be filled with belief.  I can write about fostering and the desire of our family to live out the gospel to the helpless, but Dan and I still argue about the situation and the fears and misunderstandings and lack of information that we have about the whole thing. We still have our moments of questioning if this is right for us. We still want answers and a clear plan of how this is going to go, and we act ugly when we don't see a green line popping out in front of us telling which way to go next.  

But God, (love those two words) being rich in mercy!!! He sustains us and gives us the ability to forgive each other, to not have expectations of others involved, to confess sin and fears to each other, to keep going every day trusting Him for the outcome.  

Fasting is Feasting

We have the pleasure weekly to sit under the pastoral ministry at Treasuring Christ in Raleigh, NC. Yesterday, in God's providence we were in Matthew 6:16-18 talking about fasting. We wanted to bring you a few of the things that were pointed out in this text, in order to aid your joy as you join us today in fasting for our baby's health.
The title line was aptly Spoken by John Piper in His book; "A Hunger For God." For, when we fast we are feasting on the presence of God and Asking God to move in our hearts to make us long for him. Fasting is about God! There are times when we fast as individuals and others as a corporate body. We are a fasting people and the text says it: "When you fast." fasting is expected of the people of God. This is a blessing in the believers life for joy and it breaks in to give us that true joy in feasting on God instead of other things that we tend to love more.We want to make clear as we call for this corporate fast that there is no magic formula in this and God is glorified not in bending to our will but our desire to fast to see His will done and to praise Him for the healer that he is. The mute speak, the crippled are healthy, the lame walk, and the blind see because our God with one touch heals. This is our God! and we praise him for this and if in fasting today we see more of him and treasure him more then the purpose would be fulfilled and he would be glorified in that. Yet we ask, humbly for God to move and heal in our baby today.So here are a few things to pray for as you go through this day:

-Pray that you see god and hunger for him more
-pray asking him to reveal the idols in our hearts today
-Pray that our baby would be free from any trisomy or genetic issues
-pray that the presence of Scoliosis or Spinal Bifida would be gone
-Pray that our baby's foot would not be clubbed
-pray that the possible heart defect would be gone
-Pray that the Omphalocele would shrink up or be gone all together

We thank you for joining us today in this and we expect to see god move in our hearts and lives through this. God grant you all joy in believing today!

The Chappell's

Our Desperate Anticipation

God is good! One of the benefits of trials is that you get the Joy of seeing God more clearly than you may have before. This is true of us today. We have just come home from a blessed week of vacation and it was a great time for us both to relax, love each other better and more intently, and to focus upon God. In one of our conversations from the week a great truth was discovered about prayer. One of the reasons we pray more during a trial is that we feel the need because it is pressing in on us. But we are no less needy at any point in our life and should always desperately anticipate God to do great things and to come through for us, for we need him to. Our church, Treasuring Christ Church, is about to embark upon a focused time of prayer called "Desperate Anticipation" and it dawned upon us that this is exactly how we feel (and how we should always feel).
We are asking all of you that know us and are following us through this time, to join us for a day of interceding prayer and fasting. We are asking this of you but not expecting this of you. Join us as you can and desire. We are going in for an Amnio on Monday morning at 10 am and this will tell us so much about what we are facing. We will find out finally what we are having and it will also serve to tell us if there are any trisomy or genetic issues. We believe that it would bring God great glory to show his power off before us and the medical world that has given us little hope.
So we are asking God to heal our baby and we are fasting that His glory would be made known in this. We fast because we are desperate for God. We want to show him with the hunger of our bodies , not just that we want a healthy baby but that we are desperate for his presence and his power to be made known here. We are also asking God to help us and you that know us long for his coming more as a result of this trial. I want to thank you in advance for serving us with your prayers and joining us on Monday August 4th for this concentration on God. We love you all and are so thankful for the body!

Dan

Then I proclaimed a fast there at the river of Ahava,
that we might humble ourselves before our God
to seek from Him a safe journey for us, our little ones,
and all our possessions.
—EZRA 8 : 2 1

"Or who has first given to Him
that it might be paid back to Him again?
For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things.
To Him be the glory forever. Amen."

—ROMANS 1 1 : 3 5 - 3 6

more music recommendations

These are two CD's that I've been given recently that are so great and every mom should have them!!
The first is called Sing Over Me: Worship Songs and Lullabies
It's by some of my favorite female artists such as Christy Nockels and Nichole Nordeman
The songs are so precious and comforting!

The second is called SEEDS: Family Worship;Praise
It's one in a series and it's scripture set to music.. with tunes that don't drive parents crazy!!
Great for older kids but I know how early those little ones pick up songs!! I still remember scripture from songs I learned in Children's Choir way back when!!

The Gospel, Trials, And The Goodness of God

     I was reading Romans 8 this morning contemplating how I would split it up for my students to memorize in the spring semester. I began this intending their good and ended up serving mine.The fact that my good was served is owing to the Holy Spirit acting in my heart upon the wings of God's Word (as my pastor would say). I have so many thoughts that occur to me as I read God's Word, observe culture, read theology and Christian books. Some of my thoughts are helpful to mention others are not and even the one's that are helpful can be jaded by my intentions, in the moment of mentioning. This thought, I feel is helpful.
      People often quote Romans 8:28 and why not, after all it has a comforting message. It occurred to me this morning that believing, and quoting this verse without loving the Gospel that produces it is both ironic and horrific. "And we know that for those that love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." I came face to face this week with the reality that my love for God is truly presumptuous at times, for I believe that His love for me must act in accordance with my idea of love. Now those of us who walk in theological circles would never say this is correct thinking but really ask yourself how often you practically live this way.
     The fact is I have been mad at God and many of you are saying right now, that is normal, true but normal is also sinful and it is not ok for me to be angry with God. The question is why the anger? Answer; I believe I deserve to be treated a certain way because I love God. So, without a correct belief in who God is or a belief in his gospel you will have defective, damming emotions as well. Paul goes on to articulate that this working of all things for good" is because God chose to know me, predestine me, call me, and justify me to the extent that nobody can be against me because He is for me (Romans 8:29-31).The Word pierced my heart reading the next verse, Romans 8:32 (not quoted as often). "He who did not spare his own son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also graciously give us all things." Because of the death of God's son I get God, the best of all things! I also get an amazing window that helps me see my deepest pain rightly.
     I do not know what the future holds for the life of my unborn child, and it hurts deeply to think that this life would be anything less than what we imagined it would be. But I do know and believe that the death of Christ guarantees the Fathers goodness to me. God is good at all times, but without the hope of the gospel I can not be assured on any level that my pain is working for me. Some would ask for more clarification on how God's goodness is at work for me in my trials. Milton Vincent, in A Gospel Primer for Christians sums this up with unreal clarity and this is something worth memorizing. My heart rejoices that these words are so true!

More than anything else could ever do, the gospel enables me to embrace my tribulations and thereby position myself to gain full benefit from them. For the gospel is the one great permanent circumstance in which I live and move; and every hardship in my life is allowed by God only because it serves His gospel purposes in me. When I view my circumstances in this light, I realize that the gospel is not just one piece of good news that fits into my life somewhere among all the bad. I realize, instead that the gospel makes genuinely good news out of every other aspect of my life, including my severest trials (Romans 5:1-5). The good news about my trials is that God is forcing them to bow to His gospel purposes and do good unto me by improving my character and making me more conformed to the image of Christ (Romans 8:28; James 1:2-4; 2 Corinthians 12:7-10). Preaching the gospel to myself each day provides a lens through which I can view my trials in this way and see the true cause for intelligent rejoicing that exists in them. I can embrace them as friends and allow them to do God's good work in me.

May God give us more grace to believe these things! We need this understanding to stick so desperately today.

Grace and Peace,

Dan