Asher Daniel Chappell

update on the baby

Well, I think this baby was more premature than everyone thought. I think the Doctors said that they thought that he might have been about 6 weeks premature. So that being said, he is still in the hospital learning how to be a newborn. We don't have much more information than that and I'm learning to be okay with those facts... or the lack thereof.  

So, maybe later this week we'll be cuddling a little one or it might be next week. We're trying to write and see if we can visit the mom this coming weekend. So much is lost in communication when you can't talk face to face. But I know she'll be needing some love and tenderness as she's probably still healing from childbirth and grieving not having him close by. 

So, we wait. 

I'll keep you posted.  

little one

I haven't even met this baby yet and already he fills my thoughts. But then I can't think about him too much because I'm trying to fit three weeks of work into this one week. And so in a way it's good that I'm occupied... but I'm also a stress ball. I think hours of computer work makes me tense all over so I feel physically stressed even when I don't have a reason to be emotionally stressed but me being a female, it's all tied into one big plate of spaghetti where everything effects everything. So, I thought blogging a little might help me take a load off my tight shoulders since watching TV doesn't seem to cut it right now, (and I'm saving my DVR'd shows for those middle of the night feedings that are coming my way soon)  

To update you on things, The baby is doing well. We found out today that the doctors actually think he was born 6 weeks premature. So he struggled with sucking and feeding. He's been on a feeding tube and in the NICU up till this week. But now he's in the regular newborn nursery and he's weighing in a 6lbs 2oz. So he's still tiny but growing!!  They think he'll get to come home this weekend. So I think we'll be picking him up either Sunday or Monday...maybe sooner. ?? 

I know this is going to be a challenge like no other. He has a daddy that wants to be a daddy to him but hasn't been able to live life free of drug dependance for the past 10 years. His mom, has had two previous children taken from her and now I'm sure is confused about her relationship with this guy, her future, her emotions, her body, her surroundings.. everything. Both are claiming to be placing their trust and faith in Christ and I think that He is the only One who can right these wrongs and bring this family together in whatever way that is to look like.  

Communicating with these two in prison is difficult. Right now, they are only allowed to write letters and send them snail mail. (not one of my strong points) So it's been hard to find the time and the words to say as we write back and forth. 

And Dan and I know that this child is ours to care for and to love but not nessisicarily to call our own. We hope that it may come to that if that is what is best for this boy and his family. So, I am thinking all the time of the fact that I want this boy to know he was loved from day one and welcomed even lovingly anticipated into our home! I want him to have the things that make up a heritage even from the start. But how do I pour into him all the things we've given our daughter so far knowing that he may leave and never remember them and also those things will have knit him deeper into my heart. I don't know how. But I do know I have to pour anyway and treat him as my son but know that he's not mine. 

I've said before that God taught me through Asher that our children aren't our own and that they are God's to be used however He seems loving and fit. But I don't know that it's supposed to be a lesson I learn and there, it's understood and applied to any child in my life, no problem.  I think it's more of a daily thought and prayer that my soul murmers to God as I fall asleep and pray that my child is alive the next morning when I go to pick her up, as I buckle her into the car knowing I can't control other drivers actions, as I bring a newborn into my home who had a rough start and is still learning the basics of being a newborn, as my love for him grows with each feeding and milestone, as the thought of future pregnancies pop into my mind and the fears that come with those thoughts.  

Lately, I've been asking God to give me the faith to believe that He truly won't put on me more than I can bear. Some things I think about I don't know that I could bear and when those fears come I just tell God that if He wants to bring things into my life then He HAS to bring the grace and the trust as well and in abundance!!  

Writing all these things, I hope you understand that it's a way of preaching to myself. It's so easy to write it down... but I can go to bed here in 10 minutes and be plagued with the very fears I mentioned that God has control over.  I hope I am not and I hope I can be filled with belief.  I can write about fostering and the desire of our family to live out the gospel to the helpless, but Dan and I still argue about the situation and the fears and misunderstandings and lack of information that we have about the whole thing. We still have our moments of questioning if this is right for us. We still want answers and a clear plan of how this is going to go, and we act ugly when we don't see a green line popping out in front of us telling which way to go next.  

But God, (love those two words) being rich in mercy!!! He sustains us and gives us the ability to forgive each other, to not have expectations of others involved, to confess sin and fears to each other, to keep going every day trusting Him for the outcome.  

Life as we know it is about to change....again!

Last month God brought my parents together with some long time family friends for a sweet time of fellowship. During that time they found out that their granddaughter was about to give birth to a baby boy and needed a home for him because of some choices she had made and she was serving time in prison and didn't know when she would be getting out.  

My mom called us and just asked us to think and talk and pray about this little one in need of a home. So we did. And we decided that this was truly a baby in need that we could provide a home for. It would be a foster situation but not through the state. The baby's mom might be eligable for parole this summer and if that were the case and she felt like she could parent and it were deemed so then she would be able to regain custody of this little one. If not, then we would have first option to adopt. In situations like this, things can change on a dime and that's why I've waited until now to even share this on my blog. So, just know that all this can change and that's okay,  but I know that no matter what this family needs our prayers!

The baby was born last Friday October 16th and due to being three weeks early is having some breathing and eating problems but is slowly but surely gaining weight and learning how to suck. He is still being cared for in the NICU and we've been praying for him and checking on him every day. Nothing was for sure and to some extent still isn't, but we found out today that his mommy wants us to be his foster parents and to have legal custody of him until she knows what life holds this next year for her. 

So, again, in a matter of weeks God has brought a tiny helpless one into our lives to embrace and love. Does this loving bring risks with it? Yes. Will it possibly bring heartache as we care for him only to reunify him with his mother? Yes. But is there great reward as we truly care for the helpless? Yes. Will this further teach us great dependance upon God for daily strength? Yes. Could this baby be used of God to change his own mother's life? Yes. Could this baby grow up and change our lives? Yes.   

I leaned over the other night and asked Dan if we were crazy for considering this. And he thought a minute and said, "Casey, if this is Crazy then I'm okay to be Crazy! Sometimes the way God calls us to live out the Gospel is Crazy."  

So, Just as I asked you about a year ago to pray that God's will be done in this new baby's life. I ask you again. Pray for him, for his lungs and sucking ability, Pray for his mommy who not only had to leave the hospital alone but go back to a place that is a difficult place to be. Pray that God comforts her as she morns, Pray that God is her strength as she faces her past and rights the wrongs she has done, Pray that while in Prison God would continually show her that He is true freedom and true forgiveness of sins. She does claim to be a believer and is showing signs of growth. So she has a lot of time that she is able to devote to her new life with Him. Pray she will use that time well.  Pray for us as we prepare in all ways for another baby to come live with us. 

We have all we need to care for him and with Zoe about to get off formula we will be able to not have to overlap that expense. 

So, just Pray and Encourage us in the coming weeks. So many of you know the joys and the energy needed to raise two small children. We will be needing those reminders that it can be done. Dan's parents will be here in a few weeks and with my parents and family near by I know that this child will be loved by many and well cared for. 

We will keep you updated and hope to provide photos and his birth announcement with his name and stats very soon!!!  

rehab

Well, I slept probably the best sleep I've slept in a LONG time last night. And I think it was somewhat because I was exhausted after going to a meeting that April didn't show up at and thus had no rights or say so, finding April on a street corner on the way home, taking her back to Social Services, meeting with them, taking her back to the "hood" to go to 3 different places to round up all her things, having her walk away and to have a nice life because I was being too hard on her about the need to get her away from here today, her come back with her things and I said I was sorry (I'm so thankful for a husband that will tell me kindly that I"m putting the full court press on her and taking my frustration about the area out on her) She forgave me and we went to a rehab center where we sat... and sat... and sat for about 8 hours. Until finally she was admitted. Which was a miracle because she got the last bed and they had to really ask several times to get her in. They turned a lot of people down that day. 

April's baby is in a safe place and taken care of right now. which we were very glad of. We were willing to take him into our home if he needed a home. But I know, due to details that I don't have the freedom to write about, he is in a home that is loving and caring for him right now.  

April really showed maturity yesterday and put in a hard day of hard choices and frustrating people and long waits. She removed all her things from this neighborhood and said her goodbyes. And she was really honest with the counselor. She kept me laughing actually most of the day because she is so interesting in her perception of people and how bossy she can be. In sitting with the counselor, I learned that secular help really doesn't offer true hope long term. Talk about frustrating to sit through. (I did offer my opinion a time or two) Having gone through what I did with Asher really helped give me some say so in how God really sustains through some of the most difficult situations. Though I can see how facilities and some basic practical physical and mental help is definitely needed in a drug addiction situation like this. I just want to help her find the One who will heal her soul as well as her body. 

And if April is telling the truth about all she's been through then I can totally understand why she is the way she is. I think I would be too apart from Christ. That girl has gone through a living hell. 

So many hopeless but hopeful people sat in the waiting room with us, which had nothing to do but read old magazines. I thought that even a tv would help pass the time of these people who probably only can think about the fact that they want some drugs or a drink and they are about to cut that possibility out from their lives. I told Dan it would be similar to starting a diet on monday and it's sunday night and you know tomorrow is coming but right now there is 1000 options that you could feast on... what do we do, binge. 

These people are there to get help not because they are already being helped. My heart really went out to them. At one point I was playing "who wants to be a millionaire" game on my cell phone and asked april if she knew the answer to the question, the next time I asked 3 people offered their wisdom. So for a while this strange assortment of people waiting all played trivia together, laughing, talking about old movies, sports. I really had wished that there had been a board game there for us to play together. At times I felt like I was in a movie. so strange to be connected to total strangers who any other time or place I would probably be in judgement or fear of. 

April kept showing EVERYONE the photos I gave her of the baby and her. She kept drawing and sketching his name and hearts around it. She cried a lot when we talked about him. She wants her baby. 

She said never before has she had someone in her life want or need her.... until now. She knows that baby wants his mother and will want his mother in years to come. 

So, after a long day I was able to come home and be with my daughter, friends, family and chinese food. And I laid my head down, not wondering where april was or if she would have her baby that night or if he was alive in her womb or in danger outside of it. But complete peace and confidence that God's hand had been at work that day and he was protecting this little one and sustaining his mother in rehab. I fell right to sleep and it felt wonderful. 

Thanks for praying and being a HUGE part of God's work yesterday. 

systems may fail, but love hopes, believes, it never fails!

I say that because I think I had envisioned this smooth process once the way April lives was exposed. But I'm finding that each step takes a bunch of mini-steps and that people don't operate on our time schedules or even in a timely manner at all. 

I have to admit it's been a frustrating few days for me. I have wanted to be treated a certain way and wasn't. I wanted to have confidence in what was going to happen to April and Tash and haven't. I wanted things to happen in a clear understood way and it hasn't.  So, I found myself sitting in the hospital with April who was full of questions and in need of direction and I didn't really have any answers or help to offer her because I didn't know what was going on. If you know me, you know I like to be able to have control or make things happen and I had neither. But I had time. time to sit with her the past two days. time to hold her baby. time to just think about how good God was to spare this child's life and to create him totally healthy and thriving. 

While I was thinking, I realized that of all the countless outcomes that I had invisioned or tried to prepare myself and April for, there was only a few possible outcomes at this point and ALL of them were very hopeful and good situations for the baby and april as well. There was not going to be any long hospital stay or grieving with April her son's death. He was beautiful and she was sitting there holding him and crying over her life and poor decisions. She was saying she wanted him and that she was going to love him and that her only choice was to choose to get her life together and mother him. She was never going to be the same. I told her that back in August and here she was holding him and looking at me with dark circles under her hurting eyes and laughing and sharing stories about the past few months of anticipating his coming. 

I don't know what will happen and everything in me says it will take a miracle for her to change and actually do what it takes to get him back. I can't see it happening. But I still have to hope and pray that our God who opens blind eyes and makes alive dead hearts will have mercy on her and make her a child of his. Talk about Redeeming Love!  Lord, Please do this for Your name sake. 

I also believe that this little one who may never know just how lucky he is to be alive after not being terminated at the beginning and surviving crack use and countless sexual encounters and poor hygiene and being homeless. I wish I could be the one to tell him one day about the AMAZING GOD who gave him life and protected him. I wish I could tell him that he is so much more than a product of a prostitute who wasn't "playing it safe". That Jesus Himself came from a heritage and lineage of prostitutes and unfaithful men and women and very unlikely canidates for producing God's Son. But for some reason God saw fit that those unlikely people would be a part of something so much greater than their own lives though they never lived to see the earthly results, I know they are humble and magnifying their Savior for His love for them and His unmerited favor. 

Lord, grant favor on this little guy. Make him a great warrior for you. Redeem his sin ridden beginnings and his confusing unprepared for birth. Heal his body from any remains of drugs that might be hidden and most of all Heal his heart from sin and Give him a love for You and a desire to make your name great and for him to find all his worth in You alone!! 

April update

Well I went up there today and she is doing fairly well. I can tell she is suffering some withdrawal from drugs and walking the street (she's itching and not really making sense and she's going stir crazy) 

Social Services got involved today and they were wonderful. We don't know what will happen yet but we do know that Tash will be protected at least for right now from a life on the streets and possible neglect or harm.  April was pretty upset about not being able to go where ever she was going to go with him, but she seems willing and determined to change her life in order to get her son in the coming months.  

I'm not really able to say what the plans may be right now but I will keep you posted as things unfold. 

But I'm so grateful for your prayers! 

tash's first photos

He's here and seemingly healthy! I got to spend the morning with April and Tash and they seemed to be doing well. April is plum worn out after laboring all night with him. And of course she is pretty sore. 

She has a really bad cough that I"m afraid is pneumonia so hopefully the hospital can give her some meds for that. 

Altashkith is doing great. He weighed in at 5lb 11 oz. but looks like a big boy and will probably grow fast.  April has held him and we had a moment of tears together over him. I rejoiced openly that God gave him life and let him live and thrive so far. 

I don't know what comes next and so far I've done all I can do to protect Tash and care for April. I've found it's not always easy to be involved in situations like this. People look at you strangely, people don't understand why you're there, It's hard on the emotions and You want change for your friend that may not happen. But again, there is HOPE! I love that word. It will forever be connected to pregnancy and babies for me. And once again, it applies greatly in this situation. I will Hope... in God. He knows best and cares more than I do for this child.  

So, if I can ask again for you to pray that God would be evident in this situation and that the dispair of drugs or street life wouldn't take center stage but that the redeeming elements of life and healing and love would shine and so forth His All Mighty hand and not mere human social acts of kindness but God's Amazing Grace! 

April had her baby

Tash was born at 6 this  morning. 5lbs. 11oz.  April called me last night from a number that I couldn't be reached and so I missed it. I felt terrible when she called this morning to tell me that. But I'm trying to trust God that she needed to do this on her own. 

I'm heading up there to visit them and will have more news later.  Pray. 

 

christmas with april

I've been wanting to write about how our Christmas day went. I mentioned before that we had invited the street ladies over for lunch that day. Some of you sent small gifts for them and that was so appreciated. We really didn't know what to expect so we just had plenty of soup and goodies and I made up 5 gift bags for the girls. 

April came. She ate and then said she was going out to see if she could talk any of the others into coming over. She came back but with a guy, a neighbor from a few doors down. I think he was a little in shock and confusion when it came time for gifts and April opened her gifts of a sweater, hairbrush, lotion and a goodie bag. We even had a bag of candy and stuff for him. He held zoe even though he's never held a baby before. He was so scared he'd drop her. we had fun teasing him over that. Then they left, and April came back with a guy from our street. he's a much older guy who I think is involved in the drug activity down here. But he came and ate with us and got some candy and a plate to go. He seemed like he enjoyed the food. 

At the end of the day I was bummed that the other girls didn't come but we opened up our home and that's all we could do. 

The next day Larissa came over and opened her gifts, crying the whole time. She was pretty high. She kept saying I was an angel. I kept saying that I'm just a child of God and that He loves her and wants to change her life. She asked me to pray with her and so I did, it's moments like those that I'm glad this isn't a reality tv show because I would be considered pretty freaky to the rest of the world as I prayed over her for God to awaken her dead heart and to have mercy on her as one of His enemies. She left pretty quickly after that. Prayers like that are good but don't leave a warm fuzzy feeling in anyone. 

Then Janelle came and opened her gift. She was in rehab over christmas, word on the street is that she is on the bad side of a drug dealer so that's why she went to rehab. She didn't last long there and now is back on the street, watching her back I'm sure. She is a tough one to reach out to. She is the only one to seek rehab but she is so far gone and wasting away that she just gets deeper and deeper closer to her death I"m afraid. 

I can still hope that God could change her life. 

So, that's my christmas with the girls. They were all thankful. I hope they see Christ's love through us. 

April has been over pretty regularly since. Some days she comes for breakfast and dinner. I try to feed her with protein and vitamin rich foods for her baby. (I've been calling him "Tash" and she seems to like that)

She says her due date is around Jan 23rd. I never thought she'd go this long in her pregnancy, so it looks like she'll go full term with him. 

I don't know what will happen with Tash or April once he's born. I know there are endless endings to this story, and a lot of them aren't good. She knows that we are here for her whatever happens. She has also said that she wants us to have the baby if she can't take care of him. I've spoken with our Social Worker and that is actually a possibility. Dan and I want our home to be open to this little guy if needed. We also have been praying that April will turn and want to mother this child by giving him a stable home and a clean sober mother.   I also know that Tash may not live and join Asher in Heaven. If that's the case then I want to be there for April because I feel that I can relate to her and what a great opportunity to show the hope found in Christ.... ONLY found in Christ. (now, depending on what happens that showing may come through a visit to her in prison, I don't know. But I am willing.) 

christmas has never been for the deserving

That has really been on my mind this week. I'm inviting some of the prostitutes on my street over for Christmas Dinner. I don't even know if they will come since most of them hate each other. But maybe they will be hungry enough to lay that aside and come. hungry enough for food, for family, for love, for warmth. 

God make them hungry!!  We are going to give them some gifts that day. At first I asked myself if that would be enabling them at all or affirming what they do. And I don't think it will. It's a gift. Not one that has to be earned or deserved. That's what Gifts are, right? I know there are probably readers who are struggling with giving to some people this year because you feel like they don't deserve a gift from you after how they treated you or ignored you or... fill in the blank. 

I hope you will take joy in knowing that when you give you are just putting a picture into action of what happened that first christmas when God gave undeserving, hateful, ignorant, pride filled, uncaring people His only Son knowing full well that some may not ever accept His gift. It didn't matter He knew that Christ had to come for the undeserving because they could NEVER be good enough to deserve it. Jesus could. 

So, this week as your keeping busy with all the last minute plans. Keep in mind April, Larissa, Karen, Boston, and Janelle. Pray for them. Pray God will draw them in to our living room and that Advent would mean something to them this year. Pray that they do not have any business on Christmas Eve or Day that would leave them totally empty to hear the gospel message. Pray that they don't make other plans.  

If you want to get something for any of these girls you are welcome to. Please nothing expensive (as they often get robbed from) and nothing too much (as they often have no place to put anything)  We do not ever give these girls money and usually we don't give things. Mostly food that they can eat in our living room. But I would like for them to open some gifts on Christmas day that have their name on it. 

I'm so glad that Christ came even though I was totally undeserving! 

April and Altashkith

Yep, I still can't believe that's what she wants to name her baby. She came over yesterday and held Zoe for a while and it really was sweet to see her maternal side show and hopefully this precious little thing touched her heart and made her long to care for this baby inside of her. 

I was talking to the nurses at WakeMed on Wednesday and asking them about situations like April's and they told me that almost at all times they have one or more crack babies in their nursery. They call them border babies and she told me that if they are affected by the crack that they often will stay weeks in the hospital. Oh, my heart is so burdened for her baby. Pray for them! I really want God's power to show forth in this situation. I know that no matter what that God loves her baby and like Asher He has full control over the span of His life. I also pray that He will change April's heart of stone into one that would love Him. 

coming soon!

* Information about New Life Christian Adoption Agency

* How you can help and a great Christmas Gift Idea! 

* Update on Zoe's Doctor's Appointment today

* Update on April 

* More Photos!! :o) 

a persevering love

April came to church with us today. I've been telling her for weeks now that we were having a thanksgiving dinner after church today and that she should come with us. So today before we left I picked up my phone and asked Dan if I should call her (she has a pay per minute cell phone that she uses every now and then) and I decided to. She picked up having just gotten up. But she said she'd come with us if we'd come get her. So we did and she and another friend of hers came with us. I was so happy that she was actually coming with us. I am learning that a person who is hungry and poor will almost do anything for the promise of food. 

So, after feeling like I sat through a service with two 3 yr.olds and having to get up and check on them several times and telling them to whisper and sit still, we finally had lunch. That's when I suddenly was hit by a plethora of emotions. It was strange because I was thankful that April was going to eat with us but then I saw the huge line that somehow came out of nowhere of homeless/poor people who were there just for a free meal. All of the sudden I think it hit me that the problems of these homeless wretched people who walk the streets near my home were so much bigger then I could solve with a bowl of pasta and one woman. I began to feel defeated and overwhelmed by how selfish these people were. I went to get a piece of dessert only to find that there wasn't hardly anything left and came back to my table and saw that April and her friend had stacked plates of desserts to take home with them and were talking about how they thought that they should steal a whole thing of cool whip because there was 4 containers. I got really irritated and even mad. I mean, seriously, there was no gratefulness there, just a desire for all they could get for themselves. I battled the rest of the afternoon there with loving them. They filled a garbage bag with donated day old bread and carried it everywhere they went in the room. We brought them home and I busted out in tears. Their lives are so hopeless. Their street is so wicked. Their sin is so ugly.  

As usual my husband had such words of wisdom and truth. He brought in the gospel and applied it beautifully to the situation. God took us in as beggars who only thought of ourselves and placed his love upon us when we hated Him. How many times do I just except God's blessings and hoard things for myself with no regard to the hand who provided it to me or no deeper love towards the person of God and what He's done for my soul... only stuffing my "garbage bag" with the perishable things that will only satisfy for a short time.  

I am praying for a more persevering love for April and the women on our street. I am also asking God to create in me a more grateful love for the price He paid for my redemption. I don't want to think of myself as deserving or be satisfied with day old bread when He has such riches and a home and an inheritance for me beyond my wildest dreams.  

"Most of us are content to play in mud puddles because we have no idea what it means to holiday by the sea."

  - C.S. Lewis

* april *

she came by today, hungry as a hippo. She ate a bowl of pasta and 3 burritos. I"m learning to just make one thing at a time so that she'll take time to talk and open up to me. She did today. It was almost like she let down this wall for a short time and shared so much. She had an abortion when she was 15. She spent a year and a half in prison and has only been out not even a year. She hasn't talked to her sister in years and 12 years since she's had contact with her brother. She is being "taunted" on the street about her baby being taken away from her and she said that scared her because she really wants this baby. I told her that it's up to her weather or not he gets taken from her. I told her that even if he was to get taken at birth due to crack she would still have rights and that she would have a year to get her life together with help from the state and the foster parents.  She started crying and said that she has been in denial about this whole pregnancy and that she's scared and that she wants to change but doesn't see any way out. we were both crying and I said that there is help and that she is smart and that God made her the mommy of this baby and He would equip her to raise this child and to change but she had to put her trust in Him and not live as if He didn't exist. And then, almost like she woke from a daydream she closed up and got up said she thought she heard someone calling for her on the street, thanked me for lunch and left. 

Pray Hard my friends! It won't be too much longer before she has this baby. I talked to her today about labor and what that looks like and what she needs to know when going to the hospital. She said she wants a water birth, I laughed and told her that she probably won't be able to get a water birth.  

I told her that a friend is sending me some baby clothes for little "al", she smiled and said that she already had a little red hoodie for him. She's at least 8+ mo. pregnant and all she has is a red hoodie. I have some basics for her that I had for Asher but she wants me to keep it with me because she doesn't have any place to keep it. So, I don't know what will happen after this little one is born and if I'll ever see him or hold him or if she'll drop off the face of the earth or if he gets taken away and placed somewhere else. God only knows. But if We get an opportunity to love on this new mommy and this little boy we might be needing some baby items for him. I don't know what yet is  needed in this situation but I'll keep you posted and you might be able to help!!  

The two things that I keep praying is 

1. that labor is so VERY VERY painful and long for her so that she will be forced to go to the hospital because she can't take the pain anymore. (weird prayer I know but pain and the quest for relief will make people do a lot of things they don't want to)  

2. Her maternal instincts will be stirred and that God moves in her heart to want to live for something more than the next hit or the next car that stops and picks her up.  

Pray with me, Please! 

a new look

not only my hair has a new look but I thought this sweet blog needed a little change. So what do you think? I'm learning more and more about customizing these things. 

April's been stopping by almost every day now that the weather is getting colder. She got really upset the other day when I was asking her about her experiences growing up, she started crying and ran out the door. I felt terrible. I mean, who knows what hormones she is experiencing these days, with no sweet husband to hold her when she feels like she's going crazy. My heart really goes out to her. She probably isn't sleeping well at night and then walks constantly during the day and night trying to earn a buck from any man who is willing to pick her up. I'm not sure if there is a difference between feeling sorry for someone and compassion, but my heart just wants to love her and show her that she can be loved for who Christ made her to be not for her body or what she can give someone. 

I asked her forgiveness yesterday for upsetting her and told her that I should have been more sensitive but that I was just treating her as I would a friend. She forgave me and came back today for lunch. She actually had a sweetness about her today that made me hope that she would get her life together enough to keep this child in her and love him and for her to experience what a love that child could have for her. 

She confessed to not going to Dr. Appointments at all throughout this pregnancy. She said she went once but who knows. 

Anyway, Pray dear friends, please PRAY. My fear is that she won't go to the hospital when she goes into labor and that the baby will be abandoned. I want to pray that the maternal love that God puts in us women will come quickly and overwhelm her heart for this child... even if it's just enough to get her to a hospital. 

Thanks for reading and for asking about her when I see each of you!  

 

TGIF

I love fridays! I know my husband loves them even more. So all in all fridays are good days. It's amazing to me that no matter how tired we are that day at night we have energy to stay up late and hang with friends, watch movies or previously recorded shows. I guess knowing that we can sleep in gives us the energy to stay up. 

I went to CPR/First Aid training last night. So we're all set. "well on our way to placement" as our foster training lady said to me last night. If any of you want to get into fostering in the Wake County system Terry and Alice are amazing and really are great at preparing and training you for what's to come. I kept forgetting Alice's name so finally I just have to call her "alice in fosterland" in order to remember. Now, I'll never forget it and will probably have to remember not to call her that in person! though, she wouldn't mind. :o) 

So, we shall keep you posted on all that. I haven't seen April all week, I know it's been cold but I'm trying not to worry about her and just pray. Her life is never hidden from God and He ordains each of her steps and I know that when she does stop at my door that it's a ordained interaction.  

breakfast at casey's

April stopped by for breakfast sunday morning. We invited her to church but she said no and that she doesn't "do" church. We continued to talk about God and what involvement He has in her life. She thinks he's looking out for her. I asked her if how she was living would please God and she said no. I told her that the reason I'm kind to her and desire to serve her is because God loved me first and that He wants to love her. 

She admitted to being on crack to me today. I begged her not to keep hurting her baby by doing so. She said she just can't get away from it. She's coming over often now for Rice Krispie treats or a meal here and there. 

I don't want to enable her in any way but I do want to do as much as I can for that unborn baby growing inside her. I feel like with each meal I"m fighting in a small way for that child's health and life. I'm constantly asking her when her appointments are and she keeps telling me a different date, so when that date comes up I ask her how it went and she tells me it's another date. I don't think she's going at all. Hopefully by asking at least I"m keeping the fact that she needs to be going on her mind. 

I'm not ready to spill all the details yet but I have a project coming up in the next few weeks that I hope will impact some of these girls lives on our street and it will need your prayers and encouragement! I'll keep you posted! 

lunch with april

April came over yesterday and was starving. So I asked if I could make her lunch and she said yes, so I told her what we had and she wanted mac-n-cheese and salad. So I made her salad and asked her if she wanted french or blue cheese dressing and she said both and that that was her favorite....hmmm so I put both on there and she all but licked the bowl clean... she ate the entire box of mac-n-cheese and I sent her "home" which she says is a one room apartment with 2 guys, she said one had gone to prison that morning, I sent her with some frozen meals and some soap. (she asked for some) so over lunch we talked about the baby and she said she had decided on a name... but she couldn't say it she had to spell it, this is the name she has picked out: Altaschich Doraine. I asked her if she wanted the kid to have a harder life then it already was going to have. She said she wanted something no one else had, I think she's got it! She said she found it in the psalms. riiiiiight. She said she wanted to find the meaning of it and I told her I could look it up, so we googled it to no avail. I told her that it's not really a name that you could find the meaning of, I wondered out loud if it might be german derived and she quickly assured me it was in english. :o) I explained how we get the meaning of names and how asher's meaning "happy and blessed" was hebrew.  

Then I asked her if she wanted to see what her baby looked like and how big it was. So I went to 3dbaby.com and a few others and asked her what her due date was and she started wigging out and saying "you're freaking me out" I'm getting nervous"  "I don't know about you"  and quickly left. 

She came back over later to pick up the meals and soap and I told her that I didn't mean to freak her out that those were the sites that I loved going to every week when I was pregnant and I thought she would like them too. She then tried to explain how big her baby was by her arm...... I think honestly looking back she was stoned all day. I wish it wasn't the case but I think she might be using drugs. She has two distinct moods, she's uber friendly one day and blows  me off the next, and I'm wondering if that's the drugs. 

Anyway, but I figure if I can do something as simple as make a box of mac-n-cheese and get her to sit and talk for an hour then that's an hour I can ask about her life and her past and her future. She shares more and more each time we talk. It's amazing the life she left in order to live like a homeless starving prostitute. 

I'm hoping to use Christmas time as a time to use the story of baby Jesus as we talk about her baby as a way to share the gospel with her and share that their is hope for her and her child. He came that she might have life and have it more abundantly. 

our meeting

Our meeting with our licensing foster agent went great! She was so great and so easy to talk to. We sat over rice krispie treats and pumpkin spice coffee (millstone has an amazing pumpkin spice blend out now! so great!) 

and talked in length about our lives and our past and our heart for children. She was very sympathetic over losing Asher but didn't think we were crazy for pursuing more children. (that was one of my worries, that they wouldn't think we were ready to have more children in our home because of losing Asher) We gave her the grand tour of our 750 sq. ft. home, yes, it's very small, but hopefully by staying organized we can make the best use of the space.  And she was happy to tell us that once I get my CPR/First Aid certification we will be a plant family for Wake County.  (so I will hopefully get that training done this next week) 

What is a plant family? well, it is still a fostering family so the child(ren) we would have come into our home would still be a foster child, but he or she or they would be ones that have been flagged as more likely to go through TPR (termination of parental rights) and need a home that they can begin the bonding process with the knowledge that if TPR does occur that this foster home is already on board for keeping them and going through the adoption process. Wake County has a "one year to permanency" policy, and even so I would think that all cases don't look alike and have different timelines, but it does help to know that one year is what they are aiming for in order to provide the most normal and stable life for the child involved. 

It's hard knowing that the outcome may not involve adoption and it's a risk we are having to take. Dan and I really feel strongly about going through the Wake County system and have invested a lot of time and effort in them the past 2 years getting to this point. So, I'm praying that God is leading us right now and He knows what the future holds for our family. I am also praying and thinking on our future children lately that may already be in this world but not wanted or being neglected and uncared for. Or mothers who are having right now to choose life over abortion knowing that they will have to give up their babies, Or even April who is carrying a moving baby within her and struggling with wanting to keep and raise her baby but loving the street life with all the sex and drugs and probably even being addicted to that life. Oh Lord help these women and children. They are yours! I keep singing this song and it so rings true on the streets of Raleigh. 

update on april

For those of you who have prayed or thought about April, the pregnant lady on my street, Thank you. I have seen and talked with her several times since I last posted. She came over and looked through some of my things that I had for Asher (diapers, wipes, formula I had been given, etc...) and looked at me and said I guess I'll need it all since I have nothing. I told her that I would keep it here since she doesn't have a place to put anything and when the baby comes she could come over here as she needed things. She really didn't know what a lot of things were for and seemed very overwhelmed by it all.

 I want her to understand what an undertaking raising a child is and that her life will HAVE to change in order to take care of a baby. I don't think she gets it, but I keep hoping. We are supposed to go get her a nursing bra soon, which hopefully will meet a need of hers since she's normally braless these days. I talked with her the other day about her due date and she keeps changing her information that she gives me and it makes me wonder if she's going or ever been to the Doctor, I mean, basic information about this pregnancy she doesn't seem to know. She says she's going, but I'm going to see if she'll go with me to the Pregnancy Crisis Center here in Raleigh. The last conversation I had with her did lead me to think that she might have been high at the time. Dan and I had been hopeful that she isn't doing drugs, she admitted to smoking but denied drug use. 

It's amazing to me the life these women lead. They are out on the street at 6:30 in the morning. Seriously, when I take Dan to work early, they are out there!  April is 34 and has been a prostitute since she was 26. She told me that she used to work in construction before this.... I'm not sure what led her into this life yet. I know that her mom died when she was young and her and her sister were in the foster system. She doesn't have very good memories from that from what I gathered. ** This is a HUGE reason that believers need to be a part of the fostering system... so many kids would have opportunities to know about Christ and His power to change even the most hardened heart. If any of you want to know more about fostering, please email me. Dan and I have been through the training and hope to be foster parents one day, and I grew up in a home that was a foster home to many.

So April hasn't had many people love her unconditionally, much less know what Christ's love is like. I pray that my little conversations and questions with her here and there add up and she's able to see that we truly do care about her and her little one. Keep praying for us and her....and tigger (which is what she's calling her baby right now) 

the least of these....

I'd like to introduce you to April, I barely know her enough to introduce you but I really want my prayer warriors to include this woman in their pleas to the Savior.  April is a woman who prostitutes herself on our street. She has very poor hygiene and at times can go days in the same clothes, which nowadays constitutes of an over-sized men's t-shirt and leggings. She walks around the area from 6 in the morning till evening, high on crack at times and other times just miserable but always on the lookout for the next vehicle to flag her down. And she's 6-7 months pregnant.  

When we first heard of April it was through another woman of the street who have confessed to yelling at her and asking her why she is doing crack and hurting her baby when this other couple (us) wanted their baby but couldn't have him. I was amazed that her street sisters were confronting her and hopefully defending this child who can't defend himself. However, Dan and I want to get to know and minister to all the women in this area and she is one that God had really laid on my heart, especially because I know what it's like to be pregnant and she knows that. A point of connection and similarity. That's important in reaching these women, because to them they are nothing like us... and whereas at first glance yes we live very different lives but inwardly our souls were just as corrupt and in need of a Savior as theirs currently is. Except by grace, there go I.  

I didn't want April to think that I judged her because she has a baby and I don't. I think babies are a gift and hopefully this gift can be what forces her off the street and teaches her to think of someone else besides herself and her addictions.  I couldn't get her off my mind so I wrote her a letter sharing my heart with her and the joys that motherhood brings. I gave it to her the first of the week. Made her a sack lunch on Monday and got to talk with her and asked her to come over and pick out some things that I had ready for Asher (diapers, wipes, lotions/etc...) On Tuesday, she came over and looked at it (mostly asking, what's this? and what's this for?) and said "I guess I'll need it all since I don't have anything" She doesn't have a place to put anything so i told her that we'd keep it here and when she needs it to come over and get it. 

So, you can see I've just begun to start this reaching out to her. I can tell she's not very trusting and for many reasons, we can't really trust her right now, so it's challenging, but worth taking the time in the next few months to love on her and show her we care. I wish she wasn't spending herself on drugs and sex. And I can't imagine being that far along in a pregnancy and having such a hard life. Above all I want her eyes to be opened to Christ's love and a baby can be a wonderful display of that grace. And I want her to live for something more and raise this child and be his mommy. (she told me it's a boy and that she's nicknamed him "tigger") But if her heart remains stone and she can't give up crack or the street I do want to possibly be an advocate for this child. (I feel like that too is part of being pro-life) I don't want this child taken away from her if at all possible, however, I will fight for the protection and health of that little one if his mom will not fight for it. This post was on Desiring God's blog yesterday and really reminds us of all that a new baby can bring in a tough unwelcome situation

Please pray for her and her baby. Pray for me, that I will have wisdom in knowing how and when to reach her and that I'll know the right things to say. I feel like there is an urgency in getting to know her and in speaking truth to her and I want to balance that with knowing that God is the only one who can change her heart...I can't no matter how much I want to. Many times my friends from TCC that live on this street have reached out to the people around us. And some times they just need a friend and possibly a meal as my neighbor Ben mentions here, and a lot of times they just want money for the next fix. Every time though they teach us something about ourselves and about our Savior. Lord save these women and men here on Seawell Ave. We can't change their hearts but you can. Empower us to love them and to selflessly serve them. 

Asher Daniel Chappell!

As you can see from the title our initial results are in and we are having a little baby boy! We are also overjoyed to let everyone know that the initial results show that Chromosomes 13, 18 and 21 are normal and there s no sign of a trisomy at this point! This is great news and our great God deserves all the glory for He has given great grace today! The results mean that the "lethal" issues they were suspecting, are not there. The genetic counselor told us that it is not impossible for there still to be other chromosome issues present in the full and final result. She said that the initial test showed the most common ones and since that is normal it isn't likely for it to be chromosomal but it isn't impossible. We are optimistic that Asher is just small and that the Omphalocele is causing much of the "problems" they think they are seeing.
Asher still has a long road ahead but God is still forming him and caring for him in my womb. Please continue to pray and that God would heal any heart issues that are present, heal any scoliosis or Spinal bifida that may be there, and that he would shrink the overall size of the omphalocele.
God alone deserves the glory for this day and we praise him for he is good! thank you to all of you praying with us and to those who joined us in prayer and fasting yesterday. God has heard the cries of His people! Let his glory and renown be made known today through this!

More to come......

Quick Update for Today

We went in today for my amnio and were met by the genetic counselor to go over what exactly we could expect and so forth. We found ourselves engrossed in another discussion about hospice care or aggressive treatment and really it felt like we had been there a hundred times before. We believe God has given us a real ability to speak clearly with them and to respect their wisdom but let the ethics we have in Christ shine through as well. The counselor had an intern there with her and even though she sat back and listened, she nodded her head in agreement whenever we talked about cherishing this child's life and our ethical stances... I really feel like the Lord had her there as a silent encouragement to us as we talked boldly and clearly about our desires. I wonder who she is and if she'll talk about us to whoever she comes home to at the end of the day? We so desire to not only speak for our child but impact whomever we talk with.
We went in for an ultrasound and that went well (we had an amazingly sweet ultrasound tech). Again, we saw some of the same things but were encouraged by some great pics (our baby has quite a bit of hair). We were thrilled to see and hear the heartbeat (166 bpm) and to see our baby moving all over the place. we are reminded today what a blessing it is to have each day with our baby and to know that God has sustained this little one for 36 weeks now!
The Amnio went well and fast. The whole thing was mildly uncomfortable but I feel great and I am taking it easy today. We saw three tubes of fluid go off to the lab with so many of our hopes and prayers with them. We both feel a little down today. I guess knowing that we are going to know in a few short (but long) days is kind of final. There is hope no matter the outcome but it feels a little odd today. The initial results (fish results) should be to us sometime Wednesday or Thursday. This will tell us about Chromosomes 13, 18, 21, and X/ Y (Boy or Girl-yeah!!!). The full results will be final in about 2 weeks.
Please continue to pray for us to rest in Christ and for the health of our baby. Thank you to all of you who are praying and to those who have joined us in todays fast. We love you all so much.

Casey

Fasting is Feasting

We have the pleasure weekly to sit under the pastoral ministry at Treasuring Christ in Raleigh, NC. Yesterday, in God's providence we were in Matthew 6:16-18 talking about fasting. We wanted to bring you a few of the things that were pointed out in this text, in order to aid your joy as you join us today in fasting for our baby's health.
The title line was aptly Spoken by John Piper in His book; "A Hunger For God." For, when we fast we are feasting on the presence of God and Asking God to move in our hearts to make us long for him. Fasting is about God! There are times when we fast as individuals and others as a corporate body. We are a fasting people and the text says it: "When you fast." fasting is expected of the people of God. This is a blessing in the believers life for joy and it breaks in to give us that true joy in feasting on God instead of other things that we tend to love more.We want to make clear as we call for this corporate fast that there is no magic formula in this and God is glorified not in bending to our will but our desire to fast to see His will done and to praise Him for the healer that he is. The mute speak, the crippled are healthy, the lame walk, and the blind see because our God with one touch heals. This is our God! and we praise him for this and if in fasting today we see more of him and treasure him more then the purpose would be fulfilled and he would be glorified in that. Yet we ask, humbly for God to move and heal in our baby today.So here are a few things to pray for as you go through this day:

-Pray that you see god and hunger for him more
-pray asking him to reveal the idols in our hearts today
-Pray that our baby would be free from any trisomy or genetic issues
-pray that the presence of Scoliosis or Spinal Bifida would be gone
-Pray that our baby's foot would not be clubbed
-pray that the possible heart defect would be gone
-Pray that the Omphalocele would shrink up or be gone all together

We thank you for joining us today in this and we expect to see god move in our hearts and lives through this. God grant you all joy in believing today!

The Chappell's

Our Desperate Anticipation

God is good! One of the benefits of trials is that you get the Joy of seeing God more clearly than you may have before. This is true of us today. We have just come home from a blessed week of vacation and it was a great time for us both to relax, love each other better and more intently, and to focus upon God. In one of our conversations from the week a great truth was discovered about prayer. One of the reasons we pray more during a trial is that we feel the need because it is pressing in on us. But we are no less needy at any point in our life and should always desperately anticipate God to do great things and to come through for us, for we need him to. Our church, Treasuring Christ Church, is about to embark upon a focused time of prayer called "Desperate Anticipation" and it dawned upon us that this is exactly how we feel (and how we should always feel).
We are asking all of you that know us and are following us through this time, to join us for a day of interceding prayer and fasting. We are asking this of you but not expecting this of you. Join us as you can and desire. We are going in for an Amnio on Monday morning at 10 am and this will tell us so much about what we are facing. We will find out finally what we are having and it will also serve to tell us if there are any trisomy or genetic issues. We believe that it would bring God great glory to show his power off before us and the medical world that has given us little hope.
So we are asking God to heal our baby and we are fasting that His glory would be made known in this. We fast because we are desperate for God. We want to show him with the hunger of our bodies , not just that we want a healthy baby but that we are desperate for his presence and his power to be made known here. We are also asking God to help us and you that know us long for his coming more as a result of this trial. I want to thank you in advance for serving us with your prayers and joining us on Monday August 4th for this concentration on God. We love you all and are so thankful for the body!

Dan

Then I proclaimed a fast there at the river of Ahava,
that we might humble ourselves before our God
to seek from Him a safe journey for us, our little ones,
and all our possessions.
—EZRA 8 : 2 1

"Or who has first given to Him
that it might be paid back to Him again?
For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things.
To Him be the glory forever. Amen."

—ROMANS 1 1 : 3 5 - 3 6

a few posts to read...

Here are a few posts that I've been meaning to write and update you all on.

Dan and I are doing well and we have been striving to live in a spirit of hopefulness and of perseverance. Dan only has two more weeks of summer before 08-09 school year begins and even though he's really looking forward to spending his days with the students he's trying to really enjoy these last few days of freedom!
I have two more weddings to photograph, tomorrow I"ll be in Winston Salem shooting and then next week back in Wake Forest! God has been so good to allow me the strength and ability to fulfill my responsibilities to these families this summer. We will have photographed 13 weddings this summer and each one has been wonderful and unique! Though I could not have done it without Kristin and Angey who are amazing photographers and love and serve me so well.

I'm almost to the 35 Week mark! Each week goes by so fast and I'm so thankful that God has given that week to us.
Dan and I are going to the beach this whole next week to get away and relax and spend some much needed time together before the real hectic time is upon us. So pray that we are able to relax and that we both are able to put aside work for a few days and just focus on God and each other. (this is really hard for me because I'm always thinking about what I need or already needed to have accomplished, though I"m blessed to have clients that are very patient and understanding!)

Just to update you on what is to come in the next few weeks;
This Sunday Dan is preaching at Forest Park Baptist Church where he used to be the youth pastor at (it's also where he was at during our falling in love/time of engagement) The people are so precious and we always enjoy going back to be loved on and hopefully to edify them as well!

Then we'll leave to go to the beach until Friday August 1st which is Dan's 34th Birthday!!

August 2nd I'll photograph my last wedding pre-baby!

August 4th at 10:30 we will go to UNC for an amnioseticess..... now, I know you might be thinking, I thought you weren't going to do one of those and we didn't due to the risk of preterm labor, and we weren't going to do one at all. However, after several OB visits and listening to them inform us that they really won't do anything to the baby as far as aggressive treatment until the results come back for the Trisomy and then depending on that the treatment will or will not be offered. So, we would rather not be waiting when treatment might be needed and if the baby does has a Trisomy we would rather know that we have found a Dr. who is already willing to use his skills on a baby who might not live as long as most. This might be a difficult task but we are hopeful that there is a Dr. at UNC who would be willing and able if needed.
So, we will have FISH results back in 3-4 days that will tell us the bigger things such as the Trisomy issue and also gender... We'll have a baby with a name finally!!! I can't wait to announce that on here!
And then in 10 days we'll have the full work up which will tell us I think the extent of the Trisomy or Genetic issues and I guess some more information that will hopefully be helpful to the medical staff in treating our child.

They have scheduled my C-section for August 27th at 11:30. I will finally get to meet this little one!! Pray he or she stays in my womb until this day!

So, a lot is going to happen in the coming month and we will definitely keep you up to date as best we can.
There hasn't been a lot of new info lately thus my lack of posting... I'll try to get better about that!

Thanks for reading and for being so faithful to comment and encourage in so many ways! We feel very loved and cared for.

Have a great week! ~ Dan and Casey

Four hours at UNC

We were at UNC for over four hours today and my belly has had it's fill of being rubbed and that gooky ultrasound gel. :o)
I wish I had a bunch of new and updated information on the baby to tell you but really at each appointment they would scan and then say "it could be that the baby has a defect or it could be just the baby's position or that the baby is fine and we're not getting an acurate picture of him/her." Like, the baby is still measuring small but we were told it could just be that it's a small baby or it could be that it's growth is being hindered... so they usually present worst case and best case and how they really can't say one way or the other for sure.
Dan and I both agree that no news is better than for certain discouraging news.

We met with the Neonatologist today and we spent the first 20 minutes on why we it might be "best" to choose not to have our baby be put on a ventilator if it has a Trisomy. For some reason she kept describing how "uncomfortable" it is for a baby to have that tube put in them. But we kept saying that as parents we sometimes have to do things that might be uncomfortable for our child but would always be done for their best interest. We really had to stress to her (and hopefully she understood) that we will fight against all odds for this child to live however we understand that we can't fight against God who will ultimately decide if this baby lives or dies.
I think I was just caught off guard by how overboard she went in just addressing intubation when I feel like that is one of the smaller bridges we'll have to walk over in our child's treatment.
But God really gave us the words to say and even gave Dan the chance to share how it's hard to hear them say that putting a life giving tube into a child might be uncomfortable but yet they wouldn't hesitate to counsel a woman to tear her baby apart in the womb before 20 weeks if she decided that due to the Trisomy she wanted to terminate her pregnancy... he asked her, "how is that not uncomfortable for the baby"? She admitted the inconsistency in the counsel and I think was a little more understanding of where we were coming from after that.

We have some pretty sweet ultrasound images that I will post tomorrow. It's always great to see this child move inside me!

Thanks for praying!

what tomorrow holds...

Tomorrow we have several appointments at UNC so I wanted to just let you know what we're doing tomorrow and what to pray towards.

We have an ultrasound at 10:00 * pray that we'd be able to see growth and even better images of what he or she may be dealing with as far as physical defects. Also that we'd be able to enjoy watching our baby move and show us more of who he/she is.

Then we have a heart echo at 11:00 * pray that the baby would be in a position to be able to see the complete heart and be able to further see if there are any heart issues that he/she would need treatment for post birth.

After that we will meet with a Cardiothoracic NeoNatal Surgeon. * pray that we would first and foremost represent Christ in meeting with all these people. Also that we would trust Christ most and not put our hope in these individuals. But pray that Christ would work through these doctors and that they would treat this unborn life with respect and that they will be desiring in using their skills to help this little life.

Then we will meet with the Neonatologist to discuss the treatment of our baby after it's born. This might be interesting because usually it's a discussion of option A (with Trisomy) or option B (no Trisomy) and the treatment in their eyes is usually very different as we've mentioned before. * Pray that we'd be bold in our stance for life and that we would make it very clear that this baby's life is more important than our comfort or long term inconvience. That they would hear our heart in that we want to know our baby as long as we could and that we will fight the medical odds that are stacked against this child but that we know we can't fight against this child's Creator and that ultimately we know that it is He that will sustain or take this baby's every breath.

So, lots to cover but I know there are lots of you praying out there.

Thank you and we'll keep you updated!

Love, Casey

A Quick Update...

Today we went to UNC and received great care. We met with Dr. Bogess (she was great). We did receive an answer to prayer, being that they were very willing to respect our wishes as far as the vast majority of this goes. We were thankful to hear her recommend a C-Section as the type of delivery in order to protect the Ompohalocele and give the baby a better chance. She still was not very optimistic about the long term prospects but she said it could give us more time. We were also pleased to hear that The decision not to have an amnio for now was fine and that they would proceed fine without it. There would be no need to really have it prior unless we just wanted to know, because the Baby can be stabilized (hopefully) and the doctors could take 48 hours to test for the chromosomal abnormalities that they suspect. The Omphalocele can be medically stabilized without surgery for a time and then we can proceed to the next most life threatening issues which would be lung development and the suspected heart defect. I know a lot of details... We also met with a pediatric surgeon and toured the NICU (all very helpful).
So all that said we are really not all that encouraged by the prognosis and we are tired of the term "lethal anomaly" but we did get many answers today and they did take us seriously. We did hear some really good news-a strong heartbeat!! The Doctors and the center at UNC are just incredible. Our Care coordinator Maya is just fantastic at her job, we are so thankful for this much. We are strong today and I think very hopeful. Hope is scary because it increases the pain if it doesn't end well, but hope is worth it. We have a more abiding hope that is Christ and that surely helps to put this in perspective at least today. thank you for your prayers... Pray that this would not be a chromosome issue and that these other issues can be dealt with and isolated pray for our witness to the staff, doctors and nurses at UNC and for physical strength..We love you all so much!

Tomorrow to UNC...

We wanted to have everyone pray as we go to the actual Maternal and Infant Health Clinic at UNC tomorrow. We are going to be meeting with a MFM (Maternal Fetal Medicine) Specialist, as well as tour the NICU and visit with another Pediatric surgeon. We are apprehensive about this because, as Dan mentioned, it is so hard to hear the things that are being said about our baby. We are trusting God to give us a standing before the Doctors to hear us out and listen to our desires to fight for this precious life. We have run into the ethical battle so many times and those who desire to give life value based on its "quality" not creation. This we will fight, as a matter of God's glory in the creation of all life and the life of our baby! We will post to let everyone know how things went, we appreciate your prayers so much!

Casey