Asher Daniel Chappell

10.4.T. { update on life here lately }

Well, I normally like saving these for fun random lists... but life is soooo random right now I thought it would be perfect! 

1. Zoe is pretty much potty trained. She just started coming to me and letting me know when she had to go and wa-la! the girl is going most all the time. If we don't check on her early enough in the morning then she might wet her diaper... but generally she's holding it even at night. funny though, #1 #2 and passing gas are all the same to her right now, so if she has some gas going on... it's A LOT of trips to the potty for us until she gets relief! :o) But I'm really proud of her. 

2. We had a wonderful time visiting family in Kalamazoo (yeah, I always thought it was a fiction Dr. Seuss place before I got married)  It's always a joy going up there for me because there is a laid back pace of life there that reminds me of Alaska and there are generations of family up there on Dan's side whom I always find fascinating to visit with. I made a slideshow of that visit you can see here  http://www.poiemaphotography.com/kalamazoo/

3. Dan started summer school. 3 one week intensives back to back!! whew! It's a good thing he's smart and enjoys the subject matter because it would be pretty rough otherwise.  

4. I really need to write to Jack's parents but it's really been hard for me to. I really don't know what to say except to update them on his development. I got a letter from his dad thanking us profusely for taking care of his son for him.... and I wish I could say your welcome, but I don't feel like I'm doing it for the dad... I'm doing it for Jack. Of course I know ultimately we're doing it so that God can touch lives in all this. But I guess I'm just telling you, it's hard sometimes. I want to tell his parents off sometimes because of their foolishness they are missing this wonderful boy's life. But then where is the grace?? I have to trust that this is all in God's All Capable Hands. Pray that I find the words to say in my letter.... I think about it several times a day, I just can't find the words yet.  

5. I really like staying on top of what's going on in our nation's government but lately I'm finding that it produces fear and stress and frustration in my heart. You don't hear the full story on any news station and there are soooo many different opinions on everything it's maddening. So, I'm having to step back from watching TV about that.  Two Christmases ago I got Dan the complete series of The West Wing TV show and we finally finished it all a few weeks ago. I love that show! It was really educational for me and having Dan being the ex-political science major that he is was very helpful!! I cried several times in the shows but for much deeper less outwardly sad reasons.  I will say it was nice to watch a show that you didn't have to worry that when people were talking in cars that another car was about to crash into the side of them or that a bomber was sneaking into the building. So... very relaxing to watch and had so many of my most favorite tv actors in it. 

6. I'm officially moving my 111 goal to November 11th 2011. Still keeps me accountable but is giving me the freedom to really try to figure out what's behind some other health issues I'm dealing with (hives!) Thanks to so many of you who have given me great suggestions and helpful tips and advice. I really appreciate it and take them to heart!   

7. Jack is crawling EVERYWHERE!!! It's like he has an inner magnet for trashcans, toilets, and anything paper he can rip up. Totally boy! He's growing so fast and really becoming fun to interact with. Although I can't seem to feed him enough. He's always hungry. Whereas skinny Zoe doesn't eat near as much and won't gain weight for anything. She loves her some avocado though!! :o) 

8. Zoe saw a bug the other day and now she's petrified to walk on the ground. She wants me to carry her everywhere. Any spot or hair or anything she believes to be a bug. Now, how she knows to be afraid of them already... I do not know. But how do you convince a toddler that bugs aren't on the floor? It's tough... I want to comfort but I also don't want to encourage this fear. Any help from you mom's out there is welcome!!!  

9. I'm taking a 6 month break from photography....till Jan 2011.  Yep. I just have come to a point that I need to step back and rethink, redesign, reimagine, recreate, and rest. I often tell people that I feel like I was dropped into the deep end of the pool when it came to wedding photography and somehow learned to swim because I had to. For the most part of my photography career I was working a thriving but very busy job as a hairdresser and didn't have the time to slowly build my style, workflow, business habits, and networks like so many are able to do nowdays.  And honestly, after losing Asher something in me changed. I want to get more out of my photography. I want to portray my heart. In the wedding business it's Very easy to get caught up in the must get check list and the craziness of the day that you forget what you love about what you do. I think I was starting to lose that. But I LOVE weddings and capturing them is very rewarding. So, That meant taking time off to really focus on the changes I needed to make personally, at home and in my business.  So, here I am just barely into my time off, and my mind is already benefiting from it. I think I have several months to go before things start shaping up and really displaying what I want from this job.... this side job! For so long home, family, my walk with God, other hobbies,  me.... have taken a back seat to the hecticness of 2 service based jobs that I juggled. I didn't have much to give those other aspects because I was giving it all to my clients..... Which I love!! But I have to find a way to make those other things a lot more predominent in my life and have shooting really just be an outpouring of the creativity that builds up in me over my days of taking care of my family and home.  Okay, this probably could be it's own post but oh well,  now you know! :O) 

10. In light of all that, I find myself wanting to learn so many things that I never have before. I want to learn to really decorate cakes well because I have MANY birthdays to come in my ever growing family. I want to cook with things like fennel, celery root, figs, spices I can't spell, and such!! I want to really celebrate things..... people... events... days... I want to create memories for my family.  I want to enjoy the simple things more. I want to go camping. I want to create flower arrangements that resemble art. I want to spray paint things and decorate my home with them. And while I have to keep a balance of not making those desires idols in my life that keep me not content in where I am right now, I really want to strive to challenge myself to do some of those things when playing it safe with what I know can be a lot easier.    

Happy Father's Day 2010!!

If I had a nickel for every time someone said "you are just like your dad" I'd probably be one rich gal. :o) 

Growing up I remember him apologizing to me for that, I guess because some of the reasons that would get me in trouble or some of the crazy things I would do or think up would be very characteristic of him. I always wondered why he was apologizing... I wanted to be like him and thought that him or others saying I was, was one of the greatest compliments.  I still think that today. :o) I'm so glad I took after him. Now, mind you the more I grow as a wife and mother I see more and more of my mother in me... which is also a very good thing.  But My dad is the larger than life role model that I've always admired the heck out of.  I look very much like him... and have his strong will running through my veins. (thus the aforementioned apologizing)  However, I love that aspect about him. 

He didn't have a traditional childhood, he lost both parents before he was 10, he served in the military for our country, he fought against racism as a police officer... even when it meant losing friends, he left a successful career to go into the ministry, he took 4 small children 4 thousand miles away from everyone they knew to carry the gospel to Alaska, he loved and served a small church for 18 years there, He raised his daughters to love the home and to love their mom and all she stood for, he taught his 6 boys how to be masculine men and men of God. He has showed so many what the meaning of loyalty and faithfulness means. He has loved... sometimes not being loved back... but he has always loved. 

 His life hasn't been a walk in the park. He has walked through suffering, rejection, confusion, violence, betrayal... and has responded to those things as one who trusts a loving God, responding with forgiveness, humility, kindness, courage, and compassion.  I remember calling him when we found out about Asher's diagnosis and we just cried together but he said to me, "Casey, this is the time to cling to your faith and your theology... it's not just words in a book.... it's your strength and your life.... you hold fast!"  And we did.  And he did. And he led my family to do so.  

He has led a full life already..... and I think that's just the beginning. Having 9 kids is a lot... but being a grandpa to all the grandchildren those 9 will Lord willing bring into their families... That's a lot!! I can't wait for my babies to be able to learn from him and be able to go on all sorts of adventures with him. I know he will keep them laughing and loving.  

Dad.... You're amazing!! I really REALLY love you so much. I'm so glad God has brought me to where I'm near you again. You're my hero in 1,000 different ways.  

 

 
 

Today I know doesn't just celebrate MY dad.  I'm so blessed to have a loving and very loyal father in law, that I'm still getting to know more and more each year.  Dan's favorite things to say about his growing up was that his dad was there for every game of his.... every one.  Still to this day, his dad will come to the games Dan coaches to show his support.  My daughter has great taste in people and at the very top of her list is "Bampa" He hung the moon in her eyes. I mean, if grandma walks in the door first she will almost immediately get a confused look on her face and start demanding where Bampa is. It's so funny. But I just love watching them play and bond together.  I love Mr. Chappell's readiness for adventure and desire to experience and see new things.... part of which made him able to pick up from his life long home and move here to Texas. 

I love you Mr. Chappell. I do more than you know. I'm so grateful that you're here in our lives. I know the world has so many pressures and images of what success is and looks like. But you love the Lord and still seek to understand all sorts of aspects of your faith, you've raised 3 children and loved them and gave them opportunity in life, and you've been in a loving marriage that truly is for life, and you have a magical touch when it comes to your grandchildren.  That my dear father in law... is Success. And have I mentioned I love you!!! 

Jack ~ Six Months Old

Happy Half Birthday Little Man Jack!! 

If you remember, We Chappell's like to celebrate the very first 1/2 Birthday of someone's. 

Here are some sweet pics of Jack's 1/2 cake and present!! 

 
 





      
 I can't believe he's 6 months old!! He's sitting up on his own and almost crawling. He's almost in sz 4 diapers. (zoe remember was still in sz 1 at 6 months!) He watches every move big sissy Zoe makes and if she's nearby he's a happy boy! I love seeing his teeth come in and seeing his hand eye cordination develop. I love making him smile... he doesn't give his smiles away and really makes you work a.k.a. make a fool of yourself for them.  He loves playing with my face while drinking his bottle and his eyes never take their gaze off mine the whole time. mmmm... I love this boy!!!! 

 

It's starting to get really hard to be honest. I know he's not mine... yet he might be...and for right now he is...but for right now he's not. I know his parents do love him.... but do they know what sacrificial love really is? Are they in love with him or the idea of him? Have they changed from their past lives? Does Jack really have to be theirs while they are trying to prove so? They want to know from us what that looks like for them, but they don't even know what the rest of their sentence looks like for them either. I do feel for them and reading their letters does help me to have compassion on their situations. It's just hard. We are doing the hard work. We are loving this child when he has little to give back. We are paying for his every need. We have insured he knows how to bond by being the ones to bond with him. This is fostering. I know that. It's just hard. Most days I'm great and my heart is at ease, but the older he gets the more my heart and soul gets restless and has moments of panic at the thought of what might happen at the end of this year. I know it keeps me at my God's feet and my lips close to His ears... and I think in a big way that I'm okay and even welcome that tether to God. It's just hard. 

But it's also so easy. Easy to love him, easy to include him into our family, easy to care for him after having gone through the same motions 10 months before, easy to tell his story to whomever will listen, easy to watch him grow and develop, easy to have two sets of grandparents who have opened up their hearts to him as well, easy to have lots of aunts and uncles who LOVE him and love to hold him. (he LOVES to be held!!! which he is a 3rd born so Drea, maybe there is something to that theory.) And so very easy to call him my son. 

It's easy.... but boy is it hard.  

missing this family already

I'm soooo glad tot be home sweet home. I missed Dan and Jack bunches and bunches. But it's just been a day and already I miss this sweet family. I LOVE my lil' niece. She's oh so presh!! (as you can see. :o) I can't wait to see them next month.  

 

  

 
 

 
 
 

 

 

  

special mommy-and-me days

Jack is staying with my parents this weekend while I'm gone so even though I didn't fly out last night he stayed with them since I'll be flying out super early tomorrow. So Zoe and I have had a mommy-and-me day today. It's been so much fun. The other day Zoe spent the night with Dan's parents and Jack and I had so much cuddle time. I guess I don't realize how spread out my attention is with even just the two of them. So, I'm becoming a big fan of occasional special days with each of my children.  

Here is a photo of Jack on our special day, napping in the living room since little feet wouldn't trample him. (I don't have lots of photos of him from that day since cuddling and taking photos are a little hard to do at the same time.....and he told me he'd rather me hold him than take pictures of him. I complied... for now.) 

 

And here are some of Zoe and her special day, featuring her adventures in..... 

Blocks.... 

 

Pretty Sandals.... 

 

Puppy..... 

 

 

 

Obedience.... 

 

 
  

  
and the iPod. 

  

  

 

 
 

 

Jack ~ Four Months Old

 

 
 

 

 
 

little man Jack ~ 3 months old

I can't believe it but he is already 3 months old. And it seems like he's getting bigger by the day. He's eating wonderfully and LOVES to be talked to. He's a great sleeper and sleeps through the night all the time now.  

I'm really glad the newborn weeks are behind us and I love more and more seeing his personality come out and watching him observe the world around him. He's weighing in over 12 lbs now and it's fun to have such a solid baby (zoe was sooooo tiny for so long, still is kinda)  And we think that his medicaid will actually get processed and be in place this month. So that's a huge praise. 

No word on his parents and how the next 6 months will look like... I think it will just be one of those things that it will be a wait and see type of situation. But I just sent them a ton of photos and updates on him so I know they will be happy to see those and see his progress in life. 

In so many ways I can't imagine our family without him but at the same time I know that God is sovereign over all details and timings.  It's nice to know that he isn't being hurt or negatively impacted by his parents mistakes at least not right now. He is just happy and relaxed that someone is making his bottle, changing his diaper, and holding him when he cries. When he's been taken care of, He is just lovin life. :o) It's sweet.  

** and THANKS so much Julie K. and Johnita for all the clothes. Thanks to ya'll he's one fashionable kid!

 

 

 

 His little double chin and chubby face is sooooo presh!! 

she's got legs and she knows how to use them

That's right, she's off and walking! She loves it. She follows me around all day and it's really so cute.  She loves to haul toys around that are really too big for her to carry but she likes to drag them around anyways. :o)  And she learned to sign "more" in sign language. That might be the extent of signing for her or maybe not. But she picked that one up quick. I guess it's because she's loving eating these days. She's funny about texture but she's a good sport about most things. 

We celebrated her #1 birthday with a cupcake and a few gifts (her new baby doll was and still is  HUGE hit! She loves giving her doll kisses and loves!)  but we're waiting on my whole family to get here next weekend for Jeremiah's wedding to have her big birthday party!! It's going to be so much fun. I've loved planning it. 

I can't believe she's #1!! She's so much fun at this age. Love it!! 

 

 
 

She liked playing in it more than eating it. strange woman! 

 

 

 

New clothes. She is growing out of clothes so fast now these were definitely needed. 

 

A doll baby that looks a lot like her! :o) 

 

 

Nothing says I love you like a french kiss from a 1 year old! 

 

So, how does this bottle taste? 

 

Ohhhh... feed the baby! 

 

My baby!

 
 

soul sigh

I've been wanting to share on here some of my mind's thoughts this past week but just haven't had the time or the words to put it in. So when I found myself being able to put it into sentences for a dear friend today I thought that it pretty much summed up the past few days. So I thought I'd just copy and paste it on here for you and just to remember when I look back and read. 

"Jack is getting cuter and cuter by the day. He's eating like a champ finally so I think that will put some baby chub on him hopefully.  I hope we get to keep him forever and always!!! But I just keep asking God to give him to us but that He knows what will best glorify His name in our  lives and Jack's. That's helped me not to fear the unknown. And I told Dan the other day. I mean even if he does go back to his mom or dad... this will have been a year that at most we've given up sleep, conveinence, and some grocery budget for formula and diapers. But to give him a sweet start to life... that's nothing in the grand scheme of things. It's not like he's making us put our life on hold.  But girl, I love me some JACK! I am smitten already in ways it took a lot longer with Zoe. Maybe that's because I know what to do and how to feel because of her. Maybe it's because she was such a "village baby" meaning so many people were involved that first month of her coming to us and so I sorta shared her with A lot of others,  (and that was a joy seeing her bring healing and happiness to so many who shared our hurt and sorrow as well) whereas with Jack it's just been me + dan + zoe + him most of the time. 

And of course looking back, I'm sure being 4 months out from having lost a baby probably did effect me  more than I realized then in those first few months of having a baby in the home. I feel so much more grounded now, more settled in my heart. it's like when my soul sighs (and it does often) it says "it is well with my soul". There is still a sadness that I don't know if it will ever go away much like I think the guys who penned it is well with my soul did so with deep intense understanding of sorrow and probably felt it while being able to say those words.  It's like my insides have a depth that wasn't there before so, while I will ache always down there.... it allows me to feel other things with a depth that I never had before as well. I still have a hard time crying over things not related to death, so sometimes I feel hardened. But I think maybe there might be life experiences coming that I might need that toughness for. Or maybe God will eventually soften that in me.  I will also say, that I am glad we had Zoe first because Jack can instantly touch areas in my heart because he's such a peanut like Asher was and he's so similar to him being a tiny white boy and the way his skin is and the way his lips are... so yeah, I don't think my heart would have been healed enough to do this a year ago. But now, it's just so easy to love him." 

God is good. 

 Defnition:  sigh

Pronunciation: \ˈsī\

Function: verb

A sigh is an audible/bearable exhalation of air arising from tiredness or from an emotion, usually sadness/tiredness, which could be stemming from feelings of sadness or simple futility

 to take a deep audible breath (as in weariness or relief)

 to make a sound like sighing <wind sighing in the branches>

 grieve, yearn <sighing for days gone by>

My note: A soul sigh is the above but directed towards God and something that no one else may see or be aware of. Sort of like a pause in the moment and letting your soul feel deeply and admit it's weariness to the Lord. And also it's yearning for the day where it won't be bound in this earthly shell and in this world of sorrow and pain.

snips and snails

I love all his little newborn baby parts. :o) 

Jack is such a good baby...... he Sleeps ALL THE TIME! which is great seeing as how he wasn't supposed to be born for another two weeks. He's eating okay but still needs to develop more in that area, we do a lot of coaxing for most bottles.  And he LOVES to be held, it's almost like I can see him relaxing as soon as I put him in my arms, so in my arms he stays a lot of the time right now. :o)
Zoe's doing great with him. The only thing is, that we're reducing the number of bottles she has a day and when I feed him his "baba" she starts this whining sound and wants to get in my lap for a baba.... thank goodness for those baby puff cereal things, they often do the trick of diversion for now.  But we still make sure she gets lots of cuddle time and interaction with us. :o) 

Anyway, soak up some baby sweetness: 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...............and her highness: 

 

Meet Little Man Jack

Jack... it means God is Gracious. And indeed He is and undoubtably will prove so in the months to come as we parent this little one and watch where the Lord places him long term. 

This is a special name that we named him. We choose a different name than what's on his birth certificate for several reasons. 1. For Privacy reasons, If I'm blogging about him online I'd rather not use a name that other's might want to look up for any reason regarding his foster time here or long term placement. 2. We really love the name, and if we do adopt him it will be his name forever. 3. We love this name and meaning paired with his name his mother gave him. 

But We are soooooo happy to have him in our home. We had a great night lat night and the little guy is eating well. He's pretty content and loves to be held and rocked. And Praise the Lord he takes a pacifier really well. Something Zoe never did. (she sucks her tongue when she has something soft next to her face...it's so interesting.) 

Here are some photos I took this morning. He's still  tiny and really hasn't grown into his own body yet, but he's a handsome guy.  

 

Little Man

 I'm coming to get you today!! 

You just got out of the hospital yesterday, Grandma Joy came to pick you up and she spent the day and last night with you. Her voice was full of that "newborn giddiness" that just happens when you have a baby around you for any length of time. Yesterday was also your original due date. You were born quite early and the Doctors think you were even earlier than thought. But you proved to be a fighter. And God was gracious to you and helped you grow and become stronger and learn those basic things. We are so grateful to Him and those things are answered prayers for many. 

I couldn't sleep last night because I was excited. It seriously felt just like Christmas Eve, you can't go to sleep but you know if you just could tomorrow would come so much faster. And then I woke up this morning I bounded out of bed to get ready. I'm coming to get you today!! You have so many new aunts and uncles and grandparents ready to meet you when you get here. And so many more ready to love you when they see you for the first time.  

God created you at the perfect time in history. You weren't an accident of nature, you were ordained by a King. You have undoubtably changed lives already. I know your mother thought so much about you as you grew in her tummy. I know you helped bring joy into her life as she is going through a hard time right now. You probably reminded her often that God is the creator of life and that He is in charge of all things. Your father has already written me and told me how much he loves you and can't wait to see you. You have also been a great encouragement to him as well and I think he's going to be a good father to you even if he can't hold you or take care of you right now. 

You aren't mine. or your daddy's. But we will love you as our own until God allows you to become ours forever or till you go to live with your mother or father... and even then we'll still love you.  We are thankful that God is bringing you into our life and home. I know you will teach us so much about love and parenting and about being patient and selfless... and a host of other things. 

You have a big sister who doesn't really understand you're coming. She will soon enough. She's amazing and I hope you grow to be good friends and very close. She'll need a brother to help look after her when she's older and I know she'll love on you a lot... she's getting really good at giving kisses. You have a sister and a brother who live far away but I know they will want to know you as they get older as well. So, little man. You are loved and will be loved well.  

So, Let me just say that your mommy and daddy are glad you are coming to live with us and know that you will change our lives. We can't wait to meet you and are giddy with excitement as most new parents are. I pray that God uses you in all kinds of people's lives to show His Love and graciousness to. 

Love, 

Your Mommy for now and maybe always.   

P.S. I'm coming to get you today!! 

update on the baby

Well, I think this baby was more premature than everyone thought. I think the Doctors said that they thought that he might have been about 6 weeks premature. So that being said, he is still in the hospital learning how to be a newborn. We don't have much more information than that and I'm learning to be okay with those facts... or the lack thereof.  

So, maybe later this week we'll be cuddling a little one or it might be next week. We're trying to write and see if we can visit the mom this coming weekend. So much is lost in communication when you can't talk face to face. But I know she'll be needing some love and tenderness as she's probably still healing from childbirth and grieving not having him close by. 

So, we wait. 

I'll keep you posted.  

little one

I haven't even met this baby yet and already he fills my thoughts. But then I can't think about him too much because I'm trying to fit three weeks of work into this one week. And so in a way it's good that I'm occupied... but I'm also a stress ball. I think hours of computer work makes me tense all over so I feel physically stressed even when I don't have a reason to be emotionally stressed but me being a female, it's all tied into one big plate of spaghetti where everything effects everything. So, I thought blogging a little might help me take a load off my tight shoulders since watching TV doesn't seem to cut it right now, (and I'm saving my DVR'd shows for those middle of the night feedings that are coming my way soon)  

To update you on things, The baby is doing well. We found out today that the doctors actually think he was born 6 weeks premature. So he struggled with sucking and feeding. He's been on a feeding tube and in the NICU up till this week. But now he's in the regular newborn nursery and he's weighing in a 6lbs 2oz. So he's still tiny but growing!!  They think he'll get to come home this weekend. So I think we'll be picking him up either Sunday or Monday...maybe sooner. ?? 

I know this is going to be a challenge like no other. He has a daddy that wants to be a daddy to him but hasn't been able to live life free of drug dependance for the past 10 years. His mom, has had two previous children taken from her and now I'm sure is confused about her relationship with this guy, her future, her emotions, her body, her surroundings.. everything. Both are claiming to be placing their trust and faith in Christ and I think that He is the only One who can right these wrongs and bring this family together in whatever way that is to look like.  

Communicating with these two in prison is difficult. Right now, they are only allowed to write letters and send them snail mail. (not one of my strong points) So it's been hard to find the time and the words to say as we write back and forth. 

And Dan and I know that this child is ours to care for and to love but not nessisicarily to call our own. We hope that it may come to that if that is what is best for this boy and his family. So, I am thinking all the time of the fact that I want this boy to know he was loved from day one and welcomed even lovingly anticipated into our home! I want him to have the things that make up a heritage even from the start. But how do I pour into him all the things we've given our daughter so far knowing that he may leave and never remember them and also those things will have knit him deeper into my heart. I don't know how. But I do know I have to pour anyway and treat him as my son but know that he's not mine. 

I've said before that God taught me through Asher that our children aren't our own and that they are God's to be used however He seems loving and fit. But I don't know that it's supposed to be a lesson I learn and there, it's understood and applied to any child in my life, no problem.  I think it's more of a daily thought and prayer that my soul murmers to God as I fall asleep and pray that my child is alive the next morning when I go to pick her up, as I buckle her into the car knowing I can't control other drivers actions, as I bring a newborn into my home who had a rough start and is still learning the basics of being a newborn, as my love for him grows with each feeding and milestone, as the thought of future pregnancies pop into my mind and the fears that come with those thoughts.  

Lately, I've been asking God to give me the faith to believe that He truly won't put on me more than I can bear. Some things I think about I don't know that I could bear and when those fears come I just tell God that if He wants to bring things into my life then He HAS to bring the grace and the trust as well and in abundance!!  

Writing all these things, I hope you understand that it's a way of preaching to myself. It's so easy to write it down... but I can go to bed here in 10 minutes and be plagued with the very fears I mentioned that God has control over.  I hope I am not and I hope I can be filled with belief.  I can write about fostering and the desire of our family to live out the gospel to the helpless, but Dan and I still argue about the situation and the fears and misunderstandings and lack of information that we have about the whole thing. We still have our moments of questioning if this is right for us. We still want answers and a clear plan of how this is going to go, and we act ugly when we don't see a green line popping out in front of us telling which way to go next.  

But God, (love those two words) being rich in mercy!!! He sustains us and gives us the ability to forgive each other, to not have expectations of others involved, to confess sin and fears to each other, to keep going every day trusting Him for the outcome.  

Life as we know it is about to change....again!

Last month God brought my parents together with some long time family friends for a sweet time of fellowship. During that time they found out that their granddaughter was about to give birth to a baby boy and needed a home for him because of some choices she had made and she was serving time in prison and didn't know when she would be getting out.  

My mom called us and just asked us to think and talk and pray about this little one in need of a home. So we did. And we decided that this was truly a baby in need that we could provide a home for. It would be a foster situation but not through the state. The baby's mom might be eligable for parole this summer and if that were the case and she felt like she could parent and it were deemed so then she would be able to regain custody of this little one. If not, then we would have first option to adopt. In situations like this, things can change on a dime and that's why I've waited until now to even share this on my blog. So, just know that all this can change and that's okay,  but I know that no matter what this family needs our prayers!

The baby was born last Friday October 16th and due to being three weeks early is having some breathing and eating problems but is slowly but surely gaining weight and learning how to suck. He is still being cared for in the NICU and we've been praying for him and checking on him every day. Nothing was for sure and to some extent still isn't, but we found out today that his mommy wants us to be his foster parents and to have legal custody of him until she knows what life holds this next year for her. 

So, again, in a matter of weeks God has brought a tiny helpless one into our lives to embrace and love. Does this loving bring risks with it? Yes. Will it possibly bring heartache as we care for him only to reunify him with his mother? Yes. But is there great reward as we truly care for the helpless? Yes. Will this further teach us great dependance upon God for daily strength? Yes. Could this baby be used of God to change his own mother's life? Yes. Could this baby grow up and change our lives? Yes.   

I leaned over the other night and asked Dan if we were crazy for considering this. And he thought a minute and said, "Casey, if this is Crazy then I'm okay to be Crazy! Sometimes the way God calls us to live out the Gospel is Crazy."  

So, Just as I asked you about a year ago to pray that God's will be done in this new baby's life. I ask you again. Pray for him, for his lungs and sucking ability, Pray for his mommy who not only had to leave the hospital alone but go back to a place that is a difficult place to be. Pray that God comforts her as she morns, Pray that God is her strength as she faces her past and rights the wrongs she has done, Pray that while in Prison God would continually show her that He is true freedom and true forgiveness of sins. She does claim to be a believer and is showing signs of growth. So she has a lot of time that she is able to devote to her new life with Him. Pray she will use that time well.  Pray for us as we prepare in all ways for another baby to come live with us. 

We have all we need to care for him and with Zoe about to get off formula we will be able to not have to overlap that expense. 

So, just Pray and Encourage us in the coming weeks. So many of you know the joys and the energy needed to raise two small children. We will be needing those reminders that it can be done. Dan's parents will be here in a few weeks and with my parents and family near by I know that this child will be loved by many and well cared for. 

We will keep you updated and hope to provide photos and his birth announcement with his name and stats very soon!!!