visit with nannie and uncle bill

Dan's grandmother Nannie, (which is her actual name...love it!) and his uncle Bill met us for breakfast while we were in NC. They brought Zoe a present and we had a great time playing and Zoe of course met almost everyone in the place. 

  

 
 

 

I'm going to just take this opportunity to say that I get a lot of questions from others about fearing how family members might accept or feel about an adoption of a child that is a different color than they are.  And I will say, that while some of the battle we face in transracial adoption is indeed generational and we must be understanding and patient of that generation, I've been so happy to see those who might and have indeed had questions about us adopting someone of another race, come to adore and treasure this little one. My advice to some of you is to not be afraid of the questions... the fears... the uncertainty of others. I remember having a really open conversation with Nannie about adopting an african american baby way before Zoe entered the picture. And I really respect the fact that she was honest and open and asked me her questions, because those moments aren't ones to get offended at or to hold on to later... but are moments that open up huge doors of communication and understanding.  Nannie LIGHTS up around Zoe. I love seeing that 88 year old woman smile and beam with pride at how smart her 1 year old granddaughter is.  I like that her Uncle Bill really makes effort to have fun with her and go to places where kids like to be, and I like that he thinks of her in giving gifts. Thank you Uncle Bill. 

My own Grandmother got a little flustered when I was looking through her birthday list and saw that she had written (black baby) next to Zoe's name. But I told her it was alright. I mean, she may have needed it to keep in her mind just who Zoe was.... but also I understand that she probably never imagined she would have a black great grandchild. And that she too at the age of 91 is seeing something that back in her earlier years would never have happened. It may seem like ages ago that our country had race issues big time and the majority believed something that we can't begin to understand.... but for our older relatives it was just yesterday to them.  So, I want to deal with each of my daughters new relatives where they are at in life and understand that change and acceptance happens often gradually, and to be amazed when it happens quickly. 

Adoption is a journey that doesn't just include you as a mommy or daddy but actually includes a lot of others who may or may not even get a say in the matter... but one thing is sure, God uses little ones to show, teach, love, people where ever they are at in life and to break down walls of misunderstandings, to bridge cultures, and to open hearts that never could have imagined opening in certain ways before. 

Comments

[Jessica]

What a gracious way to think about it! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the subject of dealing with relatives who might not understand interracial adoption!

[Jennifer]

I love hearing stories of other families tackling a such a touchy subject with grace. Like you, I've always tried to understand where other generations are coming from when they express concerns about my interracial family. There have been moments that hurt my heart,but mostly I've been encouraged to see God work through my husband and daughter to break down those barriers.

[Jenny]

So encouraged by this post...we are looking to start our adoption soon, and those questions are defintely in the front of our minds now. Thank you for the encouragement!