Yesterday was Asher's memorial service and over 500 people attended and hopefully were encouraged to long for heaven more. We are amazed that we have so many people who love us and are supporting us. We are blessed beyond words. Dan and I worshiped and were encouraged by the truth of God's word. Thank you to each of you who came and to those who couldn't come but wanted to. So many of you spoke kind words and really loved on us.
Today I attended my first burial ever, I never dreamed it would be my own son's. I must admit it was harder than I ever thought it would be and I really struggled with being angry and I was extremely sad. But I do think it was good to really morn the loss of my baby. Again, our brothers and sisters in Christ surrounded us with love and the truth found in Christ. Honestly, I don't see how those without Christ go through something like this... I know they do but I don't see how. Truth is the only thing that I know I can cling to right now, everything else is so unstable.
Asher was buried in a "homegoing box" that was handmade by my brother and brother-in-law. I have never loved and hated something so much. I am so thankful to our families for loving us so much and so well this week. And I want to thank them ahead of time for loving us in the weeks and months ahead when emotions rise and fall.
The photo of the balloons are the 37 balloons that we let go at the burial to just celebrate the 37 weeks we had with Asher in my womb. Those weeks were so precious to us.
Also is a photo of Asher's "homegoing box" and the top of the box they built to protect it, everyone in my family wrote on it and this is what my little brother Tony (age 12) wrote on it... i especially love the "lil bro" part. So precious.
I don't really know how the upcoming days will be or what they hold.... I'm really just living one hour at a time right now. But I want to leave this post with the words that I'm clinging to with all my heart.
Because He lives I can face tomorrow
Because He lives all fear is gone
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives!