yep, I gained weight back this month. I don't know if I just assumed I would and so I allowed myself to or if the crazy emotional month I've had took over and I just ate what felt good at the time....probably both.
So, Ladies and gentlemen this may turn into 111 by 11.11.2011.... but whatever it takes...however long it takes... I'm on this journey. SO, don't give up on me, I'll get there.
But I also gained a few other things this month.
* The knowledge that having this many out of town weddings isn't conducive to quality family life at home. I have one more wedding this weekend (which I'm super excited about because they are long time friends of mine and Dan's) but I'm really looking forward to taking a break from the wedding world after this one for a while.......more about that in a coming post.
* My photo-shop serial number. I had lost it and when I switched to a new mac I couldn't use my PS CS3 so I've been Lightroom all the way lately... which is mostly what I've always used anyway. But I have some creative projects that I want to work on this summer that I needed PS for. And I finally found the box it came in. Yeah! (moving 3 times in a year and a half will make you super excited to find anything really)
* A Gluten Free Lifestyle. I've been going without Gluten for the past few weeks. I have had chronic hives for about 4 years and really want to find the reason behind it if I can. So, Gluten being an inflammatory food is being cut out for now. It hasn't been really difficult. I do think I've overeaten in other areas because I was compensating for not being able to have wheat....(I may or may not have gone crazy with the potatoes) which didn't help the weight loss this month. BUT I do think staying away from Gluten has helped with my hives some... I still get them and there are still a few things I need to work on trying to eliminate one at a time in order to see what helps and what doesn't. But all in all, I think this G-Free thing is one I can live with. (I do miss Bagels!)
* A Better Marriage. Honestly, it's just been a heck of a month for us. We don't do too well being apart from each other for one, so there's been that. But more so, it's just been God working in us to painfully and specifically grow in areas of sanctification. I've prayed for this... and it's gotten to where I've almost told God I take those prayers back. But alas, I know better. I know there is joy beyond the pain. I told Dan the other day that pain is hard to experience but yet there is a familiarity about it that I hate but allows me not to fear it and to almost lean into it vs. running away. I guess losing a child will do that do you. Whatever it is, I'm glad God has sustained us and allowed us to feel the pain of stripping away sin and self in our marriage this month. So, our marriage though it doesn't feel better... I know is better.
Paul Tripp says the definition of a Biblical view of marriage is....
It’s a flawed person married to a flawed person in a fallen world but with a faithful God.“
I'm so thankful He is Faithful!!!! Because I am not. Dan is not. But may we, in our obvious shortcomings and failures point to One who never fails and has paid the ultimate price for those shortcomings.